Saturday, 26 May 2007

Sharon Kristina Hill, I know your postcode

Knew a guy in Poland.
Great guy.
Was from ireland.
Spoke about the troubles.
He told me about a wee arsehole who pulled rank at every opportunity.
The Wanker was a postman.
His turn of phrase was "I know your postcode".

Different days.
I am on a train.
I an penned in .
Left hand side is a pseudo biz woman on a laptop.
Right hand side is a pseudo biz woman on a phone.
I am penned in, replete with a can of beer.
(A can of beer from Somerfield - not designer)

She wants to send some money to John Foster.
She wants to get travel insurance.
She has an Orange bill of 61.41 pence.
She tells me how often she has had an orgasm with her boyfriend.
She gives me everything.
She is going to Alaska on a cruise.
She gives me all her numbers.
She gives me everything.
I wish I was a criminal (in principle, only)
I wish that i could transfer money using her number.
Anyone with a scanner could 'do her' for a an amount.
I just wanted to fuck her.
A smart Vicky Pollard, dangerous with a phone.
I despair.
I really despair.
I really, really despair.

Sharon Christina Hill, enjoy your holiday - but I know your postcode.

Saturday, 19 May 2007

Slavery for Polaks in the 21st Century

My friend came to Scotland to visit me, and to work.
He was a student of mine in Poland and became a good friend.
Imagine my embarrassment when his story became one of exploitation and racism.

To explain.

I arranged a job for him at a hotel in a very 'picture-squee' area of the Highlands.
Sounded like a good deal - wages above minimum, somewhere to stay at another hotel with free meals thrown in, enough free time to travel around and a rather jolly atmosphere.
Excellent.

The reality was far, far different.

No point in dwelling upon the detail of the illegal deductions and unpaid hours.

No wage slips.
No student Tax exemption form - seems that the tax was deducted but not paid over.
No meals such as were promised.
'No' accommodation - a doss in a derelict building 1 hour from work.
No free time.
No dignity - 'you fucking Polish bastard'.

I was certainly embarrassed as I had arranged the gig, but the guy was typically stoic and just got on with it.
We had to fight to get a P45 and any indication that he had even worked.
My mother received threats of physical violence from the hotel management when they realised that we were pursuing the matter.
He got the tax back, eventually.

Also, it seems that the Kilcreggan Hotel were running the same scam with other Polish workers ie keep the passports, keep back the tax, keep them in slavery.
If they argue, fire them with no pay.
(I met some girls there who had been screwed for large sums of money - they didn't speak English, unlike my friend).

Disgusting situation all round.

Not so unlike the following linked case.


Thursday, 17 May 2007

I'll scratch your back

Paul Wolfowitz, architect of the War in Iraq is a truly odious character.
He found a new job for his 'squeeze', in a promoted position and with oodles of extra money.
He threatened the people in the know with the following words 'If they fuck with me I have enough on them to fuck them'.
Needless to say, Our Paulie enjoys the continuing support of The White House, AIPAC and probably Mr. Brown as well.
No matter, that is not the point of our story.

In a local Council not far from where you live, there is a continuing struggle to make sense of the Single Status Agreement for Council Workers.
Under the guise of implementing 'equal pay for all', wages are being reduced to achieve equality for all. Again, that is not important for our story.

Some of the local workers decided that they would like an Easter Holiday with their families.
Of course, they are entitled to take public holidays when they want.
In this case, the management were unprepared for this, having been used to a workforce which would 'sit and beg' for whatever unsocial hours they could get.
The management viewed it as 'not quite cricket' that the workers didn't want to comply, in this case.
The response?
One of the senior managers took it upon himself to bring in some private contractors to 'break' the holiday Boycott.
That he wasn't in a position of sufficient authority to do this was not important (he has been made aware of this by his seniors).

What was interesting is the following :
This senior manager brought in 'the most expensive contractor' in the area to carry out the work.
This contractor must obviously be one which can be relied upon to carry out very good work.
Obviously, this senior manager thought so.
In fact, only last week, this same contractor carried out some, not insignificant, building work at our senior manager's house.
The locals were appalled, of course.

I am very sure that things were completely above board.
That is not the point of this story.

The point is this : if these guys can't even make themselves look 'squeaky clean', are they fit to rule our lives?

I think not.

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

How wise the fool

There is a guy who lives not so far away from me.
He is said to be 'two vouchers short of a toaster' after having had a very bad head injury a few years back.
He goes by the name of Wingy - he used to have hallucinations where he saw Angels with Silver wings - and the locals tease him.
But, my father did a lot to help him and he liked and respected my father.

My mother was watching a programme about widowhood on TV.
She was widowed 4 years ago and still misses my father a lot, every day - he was such a larger than life character I can understand.

She told me a story.

One day, she bumped into Wingy in the street and this guy, who had lost nearly everything after his injury, gave his commiserations.

He added 'You are really lucky. You know, you were married for 52 years. Some people don't even live to reach 52 years'.

How wise the fool.

Saturday, 12 May 2007

Trident Kills. Why Not Cure Our Ills Instead?.

I saw a wonderful advert on TV offering an MOT for the body.

Me being me, I started to feel like Tony Hancock in The Blood Donor and immediately checked out the website.
Perhaps, it is time for me to get a full wash and brush up after all these years of Epicurean excess.

'Our aim is to ensure that anyone who wishes to reduce the risk of undetected disease can do so through a range of assessment services'

Great. I am all for preventative medicine.
Saves lives, saves the country money.

The website gave some stats :

'In 1987 the five year survival for lung cancer was under 10% - today this situation has not improved. Currently only 15% of cases are detected early enough to be considered for treatment. Every year 33,000 people die from lung cancer – equating to 90 people every day.
If detected earlier, survival rates for lung cancer can improve to 90%.'

Good, lets get tested.

'As the leading provider of private health assessments using CT scanners, Lifescan is able to check for the very early signs of heart disease, lung cancer, colon cancer, aneurysms, osteoporosis as well as other illnesses.'

But wait, this is not a new government initiative. Instead it is part of the privatisation of the NHS.
Assessments which would previously done by the NHS are now very largely the responsibility of the individual.
And the individual has to pay through the nose.
For example a body scan with colonoscopy is going to set you back £750-00

Mr Brown as part of his New Deal for the Health Service (basically, I am not Tony Blair, I had nothing to do with the debacle in Iraq and therefore you can trust me as I don't tell lies) has announced that FROM NOW ON routine testing will be carried out by GPs.
Fine except routine testing is carried out by GPs (my Doctor has had more blood off me than Dracula could ever) under the existing formula and is therefore not a new initiative.

No, we went the type of testing for the population - of the sort that can be carried out by Bodyscan - to be made available for all.

Cloud Cuckoo Land you say, who is gonna pay for it?
We are !!

Except, we do it this way : Cancel Trident Immediately.

The £30-50 billion estimate for something whose only purpose is to kill people should be re-assigned to things which could improve the life of the ordinary person.

Tell me where I am wrong. Please do, Mister Brown.

Friday, 11 May 2007

Zoonie the Lazoon or Salmond Chanted Evening?

I worked abroad for a number of years.
What always struck me was the great admiration in foreign places for Mrs. Thatcher.
Real admiration. Ok for much of that time I was living in Poland - a country which did as much as any to break the miners.
Used to say to my students 'When she 'pops her clogs' people will be dancing in the streets where I come from'. Still true.
I didn't foresee that the hatred of Blair could be stronger than that. Yet, it is.
The one good thing from SpinDecade has been the fact that he has opened the way for a free Scotland. It will come, eventually.
Not that he wanted it - he just miscaculated.
The idea behind Devolution and a Scots Parliament was to defuse the Independence question using Labour's traditional and, seemingly, perpetual majority.
It hasn't worked.
Why?.
A couple of reasons.
When the odious Donald Dewar (the poor man's Malcolm Rifkind) took up the reins, he had a deliberate policy of cronyism which meant that really able politicians would never pose a threat to him.
He succeeded and on his departure we were left with 'Taxi for McLeish' and 'Zoonie the Lazoon' McConnell. (Maybe Fireball XL5 is before your time).
Secondly, Iraq. Simple.
Well, maybe not.
Trident.
Well, maybe not.
ID Cards.
Oooops, the list could go on. Sorreeee.


This linked article definitely captures the mood of the country. Celebration.
The article is written by someone who is very well known to most of you in different shape.
Even a bottle or two of Highland Park will not squeeze his usual moniker out of me.
Still, enjoy!! (The article that is, not the Highland Park).
Anyone guessing his true identity can also send me a bottle of the true nectar.
I am just that kind of guy.

It must be said that I was never majorly a supporter of the SNP having considered them the Tartan Tories. The culture shock of returning to this country after 10 years abroad changed my mind. Like many Scots I am firmly in the 'anyone but Labour' camp and will remain so.

Speaking with Swagman one time I commented that the major difference between the Tories and Labour was as follows : 'with the Tories you know they are bad bastards - but at least they are consistent. With Labour you trust the promises and are then shocked when they are even worse than the Tories'.
That's what has happened this time too.
Thank fuck?

As a final thought, someone threw me a suggestion.
Is it possible that 'Colin and Justin' Reid has chucked his latest job in the hope of getting a safe MSP seat?
First Minister for me or else you are 'malkied'?
Watch this space.

Thursday, 10 May 2007

The Age of Spin is still with us.

Just watching the Beeb doing an article about John Prescott leaving his job.
Now, personally, I liked JP some 25 years ago when his support for Stanley Adams in the Roche Products scandal was very principled (at the time I had whistle blown the massive fraud carried out by another Swiss multi-national and was smelling the coffee).
He lost it though, and after that his hypocrisy mirrored that of the rest of these scumbags who currently rule us.
No matter. Point is we got a wonderful statement from the spin person about TwoDicks :

'He wasn't always the safest pair of hands but he added to the gaiety of the nation.'

'Added to the gaiety of The Nation'?

Jeez-O

Compare with the plea made on behalf of Paris Hilton :

'She brings 'beauty and excitement' to mundane lives'.

Do you think the same PR company is involved?

Now, in the interests of balance, I should really post a link to the petition made to Big Arnie on her behalf, but I won't. Fox may be fair and balanced, but we are not Fox.
Despite owing everything to Paris for my name, I would not be unduly perturbed if she rotted in Shawshank Hell for her 45 days.
So, I will give you an alternative.

Labour learnt about spin from the failure of Neil Kinnock.
(I am still pretty damn sure that Our Neil would have been PM if he hadn't fallen on his arse into the water on that famous beach).

Let's hope those that live by spin also die by it.
And then?

To paraphrase The Bard of Avon, 'First thing we do is kill all the Spin Doctors'.


Tuesday, 8 May 2007

Hell hath no fury..............

'A 'disgruntled' wife has admitted feeding her estranged husband a curry containing dog excrement after their relationship broke down.'


When I saw this story I was reminded of the words of Anticant and could only think :

'What would she have done if she was 'gruntled'?.

Well, I know exactly.
I had a beautiful 1968 Les Paul Black Beauty. Pristine, but well played.
No longer so.
A vengeful lady decided to convert it with the aid of a ball-pein hammer (the same kind the Yorkshire Ripper used) and it is no more.
My 3.5 litre Rover also saw the last of a back and front windscreen.
And my Gibson Hummingbird.

I can't say what inspired this outpouring of ire.
I'll just say this : she was certainly worth it.
Sometimes, I miss the Les Paul, though.

Thursday, 3 May 2007

Fear and Loathing in Buzios



I was in Buzios, a small seaside village, about 5 hours drive from Rio de Janiero.

Late at night, in a local 'dive' about the size of a toilet.
A real Beer Bar. Neli da Costa's Bar.
This dive was rumoured to be a drugs den too.
I was alone because my friend had disappeared with the daughter of the owner.
Was pissed off too because I really fancied her. She was a real honey, in the flesh.

So, I ended up drinking with two uniformed policemen when they came in for the nightly visit.
I was an exotic visitor so they stayed to chat.
As usual, little in the way of common language. But quite OK.
One of them asked me if I wanted a coke (as in cola) and I made an expansive gesture redolent of snorting something.
The policemen laughed and scratched noses in a 'suggestive digestive' manner. Nudge nudge wink wink.
Even the owner and the chief dealer laughed.

Later, they asked me to bring a bottle of whisky for them next time I came from Scotland.
I told them I would NOT bring a bottle of whisky for them.
They both took their guns out whereupon I explained that I would bring TWO bottles of whisky for them.
Yet another memorable night followed.
Too many to count are those nights.

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

Ranger will play Oboe over my grave (I hope)

My father died.
I got called back from Poland for the funreal at short notice.
A happy funeral with a Humanist Speech. Fine.
Suddenly, a guy gets out his violin and plays over the grave.
A very famous guy.
He is 1st violin from, maybe, the best known Russian Quartet.
Now he is first violin in Scotland.
He plays my father's favourite songs.
I am watching something like 'Fiddler on the Roof' in my own life.
Then I remember the story.
This guy escaped to Scotland after the hard times.
His quartet had nothing. Nic. Fucking nic.
My father had helped them get sorted out, had fed them and done all they could (my family is not rich). They got sorted through hard work.
On many occasions they had drunk Wodka together and talked about the old days.
This major violinist did something special for my father.
He took some ancient tape of my grandmother singing some old songs solo.
Went into the studio (BeeB) and put the instruments into the mix.
WoW, My grannie playing with the famous blah blah Quartet.
A very famous Combo.
A very wonderful thought.
That's the way it should be.
This guy is good. They all cry. It's a right good funeral.
(I thought that the tuning was a tiny bit off - but what the Hell it's a funeral).
I cried later.

Local Lies, National Liars

A politician lies but the truth is suppressed. Why?.
It's the local Council elections, stupid.
Those of you who are refugees from Pikey's site will know the story so far.

Digging For Dignity

The Struggle for Dignity carries on.
As part of that, the Council has been successfully lobbied in an effort to make safe the working conditions for the employees - after an internal Council Risk Assessment warned that its employees were indeed 'at great risk' in certain areas.

So good, so far.
Not so fast. Hold that story.

The particular employees have been told they must continue to work in unsafe conditions or face disciplinery action. Why?.
One Important Local Councillor stated in the newspapers that working conditions had, in fact, been declared satisfactory by the elected Councillors. Not true. Very not true.

(In any event, the local Councillors do not have the option of subverting Environmental Law and they have been told this by the whistle blower).

Anyway, the aforementioned person was caught out in his lie and the newspapers know full well about it.
They can't print it because the said Councillor is up for re-election tomorrow and the local paper comes out the day after that - he was very 'sneaky' as he only made his statement this week.
Sure, it can be alluded to - but only after he is re-elected.
Aha!, the people can't be told what a sneaky, lying bastard they are voting for.
Sounds familiar?.
I would not like to influence the Democratic process unduly, as any independent candidate should be allowed to stand, so I won't mention what party is involved.
The fact that a few manual workers are 'in a perilous situation', due to lies, when compared to the troops who are 'in an extremely perilous situation', due to lies, should not blind us to the fact that 'Lies are Lies' whether at Local or National level.
Meanwhile, the whistle blower, his children and soon-to-be-ASBO'd mother all suffer the anger of those who have a financial interest in the situation.

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

World Guitar Day - 1st of May

Today in Wroclaw; Poland a special event is taking place.
Leszek Cichonski the famous guitarist is hosting an attempt at bettering last year's recapture of the 'Guinness Record' for greatest number of guitar players performing one song.
First year we had 587 guitar players and 1 banjo player (who else, before you ask).
Last year, we had nearly 1600 players in the Market Square in Wroclaw.
This year will be even better. The event is being shown live on the Net, and better still, you can join in with the hordes via computer.
Check out the links if you want a good time.

http://www.cichonski.art.pl/i_fl_en.htm

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE

Update 2007 : This year we got 1876 players!

Update 2008 : This year they had 1951 players!