BloggersOnTheRun

Good lovin' gone bed.

2011-08-05T13:30:00.001Z

Having a fag.

I see three women coming towards the pub.

Looks like a mother and Auntie and Daughter.

The Daughter is not toooo bad.

But, I am working.

I have a gig tomorrow and we must rehearse.

Looks like a long gig and we don't have the songs yet.

Not interested in any spectators, anyway.

That is until my wee pal, the cook, says “She can't keep her eyes off you”.

Well, I am used to that and just ignore it.

Blonde Bombshell (as I later knew her) goes for a piss.

On the way back stops to chat.

“Can you play the Blues?”

Aw God, not another Groupie.

Yes, I will play you a song.

I play her two songs. Good Value.

Her friends invite us to sit at their table.

All for it.

We play more. We sing more.

Fancy coming to the wee club with us?

Definitely.

The wee man has to walk because there is no room in the taxi.

We get there. We get steamed.

Finally, I put the question to the Big Blondie.

She says “Yes, I love Steely Dan”

Home James – and don't spare the horses.

Sex was interesting, to say the least.

Another day, another chapter.

GMB Union doesn't really represent the workers.

2011-06-07T21:27:00.000Z

A recent Employmant Tribunal saw a claimant being awarded +35K after being unfairly dismissed.
This was after a long battle and was a good decision by The Court.
This long battle was not helped by the Claimant's union trying to put the mockers on the whole shebang.
First, they said they would represent the claimant.
Then they said No.
Then they said they would represent him if they thought there was a chance of winning.
Then they said No.
It was obvious to everyone that the claim was with merit.
However, the GMB seems to have been embedded with the Council in this matter.

A letter was sent to GMB headquarters reminding them of their duty to protect workers.
Passed down into the long grass.

This went to the GMB leadership : (one name has been changed)

5th June 2010

Re : Fred Bloggs v. Argyll and Bute Council.

Dear Mr Donaldson,

The union has now informed me that I will not be represented by Pauline Paxton in my Employment Tribunal case against Argyll and Bute Council.

According to the GMB website, 'GMB is a campaigning trade union focused on protecting GMB members in their workplaces …..'.

However, that does not seem to be the case in this instance.

I was sacked for my work in protecting the rights of the workers while I was on sick leave and without any chance of rebutting the allegation against me.
I was sacked as a result of my union activities yet the union has refused to represent me in my Employment Tribunal case.
This is surprising considering that the only evidence offered by the employer was :

1) an anonymous witness statement by someone who was offered inducements to perjure himself
2) a series of conversations covertly taped by the Council's representative.

Such an attack on union rights using such methods would have been expected to have been of some interest to the union lest it become the norm.
Apparently not.
The union lawyers have said they can only act in cases which they think have a 51% chance of success.
However, Pauline Paxton thinks my case has a very strong chance of success bearing in mind that the Council evidence, from an 'anonymous witness', was comprehensively rebutted by The Sun newspaper reporter who appeared as a witness for me.

In the past, the union was quite happy to defend the clearly indefensible with respect to 'Bollinger Bob' of whom The Independent said :

'Robert Parker was forced to resign as leader of the GMB general union in Scotland in March last year after four complaints of bullying and harassment were lodged against him at employment tribunals by his own staff. All were settled with the union's funds taking a hammering. The biggest payout, of £300,000, was made to Margaret McAvoy, Parker's former PA, who claimed he had sexually harassed her.'

Of course, he was the Regional Secretary and well worth nearly two million pounds in the process.

The full time official, Pauline Paxton, seemed very keen to represent both Craig Lauffer and myself in our cases. However, the union stopped her representing him in his tribunal and have now stopped her from representing me in my tribunal.
That is truly scandalous given the context of us having been sacked for working to ensure that workers have a safe workplace.

I would ask you to re-consider the decision not to allow me union representation at my tribunal.

Yours faithfully Fred Bloggs.

Cc Paul Kenney, GMB General Secretary

Pauline Paxton

********************

He won his case.
Simple.
The Union didn't help.
They still took his Union dues.

Surprised?

No.

More to follow, I am sure.

Meso beats a corrupt Council

2011-05-22T13:33:00.000Z

.

Recently, an Employment Tribunal awarded +35K to a claimant.

The full story will be published here very soon even though there have been threats made against the writer.
The Tribunal Judgement is a matter of public record.

However, for those who haven't read it :

And regarding Mr Murphy, the Tribunal noted : 'He had relied on Mr Welsh's transcript and on an unauthenticated copy of a recording of uncertain provenance of dubious origin and uncertain authenticity which he had interpreted it in a way that the Tribunal found it was not reasonable for him to have done and he had relied on the unchecked statement of an anonymous witness.'

The Tribunal noted :

'Following a Case Management Discussion on 30 July 2010 -(at which it was explained by the Claimant's representative that ; "The main issues which result in the alegations of unfairness" were; "The use by the Respondent of a taped conversation" and "The reliance by the Respondent on an Anonymous witness statement in each case as part of the disciplnary process)....'

This anonymous Witness Statement was actually retracted.

No matter, The Merkin will tell all.

'unauthenticated copy of a recording of uncertain provenance of dubious origin and uncertain authenticity'

Beautiful, no?

Undercover St Trinians Agents-Provocateurs

2011-01-23T00:40:00.001Z

The former SDS officer, who has now left the Met, said one stipulation by senior commanders was that undercover officers should be married, so that they had something to return to. He said the move was introduced when a spy never returned after five years undercover.

Never returned?
Pissed myself laughing.
Sad but true.

We have seen many times that the incompetence of our boys in blue has allowed the 'terrorists' free rein in our green and pleasant land.

This one takes the biscuit.

The Great St Trinians Train Robbery has 'the men from the Ministry' being seduced and never returing to work as undercover agents.
I spent a good portion of my life in the company of Greenies, Veggies, Untermensch types and Antis of some kind or other.
Did the biz with umpteen for no pay at all.
Was I in the wrong career?
Seems so.

Happens once as tragedy and returns as comedy, perchance?

That is why we need a FULL inquiry into the 7/7 bombings.

Who actually believes the official version now?

Monbiot is a Danger to Us All.

2010-12-22T21:42:00.000Z

I wrote on the Graun blog yesterday.
Only a few words.
Plenty of recommends and it lasted 18 hours.

Then, suddenly, into that black hole of nothingness that is Graun deletion.

What was it I said that could rock the boat that is MMGW orthodoxy?.

Well, Mr. Monbiot said : 'The cold has reason in a deathly grip.'

Quite reasonably, I said 'Sure, the Cold tried to hide all the evidence about the Climategate Emails.'

Pouf. No more did I say that. Disappeared like snow of a dyke.

Why should this be so?

Mr Monbiot is well aware that I am more qualified than him in those areas of science in which he seeks to lecture the proles.
Worse than that, that he refuses to repudiate the words of one of his acolytes who seeks to threaten all of us who have a different view.

She said : 'This is something so obvious only the most hardened Denialists will fail to appreciate it - it's the long-term trend that is important. Even I know this and I'm not a scientist. . . . . . . What they are doing is tantamount to treason, not only against the human race but the biosphere itself. Someone somewhere should be making a list of names.'

But, you see there are scientists amongst us who don't agree with you.

Meanwhile, we are freezing and Mr Monbiot tries to give us the Orwell Truth.

Cold is Global Warming
Heat is Global Warming
Drought is Global warming
Flood is Global Warming

Listen, George, the scam is over - same as the scam war of Terror.

You guys better scoop up the dissidents while you can.

As I said before, The similarities between High Priest Monbiot and GreenAngel to members of The Family of are quite chilling.

No doubt I am on a list.
Certainly, Climategate is on a list of words that the Graun doesn't like.
What else has George proscribed?

The guy is dangerous. No more, no less.

He is a tool of Big Society/Pharma/Oil and represents the most obvious form of repression we are all experiencing.
How many Ian Tomlinsons or Jody McIntyres will be damaged by his rantings?

Plenty more, that's for sure.

Ambassador Who? Says that Straw Knew

2010-02-15T11:23:00.005Z

Once More Into The Black Hole Of Orwellian Nothingness.

Those of you who have followed the increasing paranoia at the heart of government, against those who tell the truth, will not be surprised.

A simple Graun story with a simple standfirst 'The advice of worldly, well-educated Foreign Office diplomats is simply being ignored'

The article said :

'Yet listen to the stretching procession of Sir Jeremys, Sir Christophers and Sir Michaels. Their advice wasn't taken; they weren't consulted; they were spear-carriers on some macabre White House stage; they just weren't there.'

So, I commented on what had been said in the article.

*******

MerkinOnParis; 14 Feb 2010, 7:08PM

'Never mind the former ambassadors!

Craig Murray was in place as Her Majesty's Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to the Republic of Uzbekistan when he notified the government about the torture, in that country, which was taking place on our behalf.

Did the government listen to him.
No, he was marginalised.

Mr Straw, through Michael Wood, actually told him that 'torture by proxy for intelligence purposes' was ok'

*******

Nothing too strange there because, as Mr Murray points out in his excellent book Murder in Samarkand',

'So there we had it. Torture by proxy for intelligence purposes was legal.
If the so called evidence that resulted could not be used in a court that was of little worry - the government had instituted indefinite detention without charge in the Uk, on the authority of the Home Secretary, citing 'Intelligence Material'.

Now tell me, how has The Graun averted the fall of Western Civilisation by moderating a snippet of truth from The Merkin?

Caught, Bang to Rights, Mr Milliband.

2010-02-11T00:53:00.003Z

Graun Editorial.

Wonder how long this will last?

MerkinOnParis

11 Feb 2010, 12:52AM

Caught, Bang to Rights, Mr Milliband.

'As was said by someone who has been at the forefront of the fight against torture :

'The truth about the government's complicity in torture is becoming established beyond doubt. I am still shocked about the virtual media blackout on my own evidence to the Joint Parliamentary Committee on Human Rights.''

Vacuum Tubes for Palestine

2010-01-31T00:55:00.003Z

Long time ago.
I wanted a siren for my bike.
Had read the DC comics adverts.
X-Ray specs.
Ant Farms.
Tireless Legs.

I was more interested in the technology that would allow my bike to sound like an 'Ambliance' as Neil called it.

OK
We went to the shop.
Bought the 'siren'.
Not sooooo easy.

My father paid 27/9d - a lot of money in those days.

The girl took the order and the money.
She placed it in a capsule and sent it down a vacuum tube to the cash desk.

Duly, we got the receipt and the 'ticket to ride'.

Many years later, I saw the same thing.

Was a Sci-Fi film where this was now new technology.

Fuck off.

Seen it, done it, bought the siren.

Simple.

Freewoman wants to cull The Untermensch

2010-01-26T00:16:00.005Z

It was my birthday.

Freewoman talked about culling those she doesn't like - non-Zionists, Palestinians, Freedom Fighters etc.

I remembered it.

So, when I agreed with a commenter on the Graun, I thought it would be reasonable to refer to her previous comments.

No such luck.

Freewoman is one of the GIYUS mob who are immune to criticism.

Even though I referred to a Graun article, already in print, I was still modded.

MerkinOnParis

3 Jul 2009, 11:26PM

exArmy re MsWoman : 'They need to be culled.'

Well said, Ex-Army, to question that.

(She was taliking about the Afghans but had previously said the same about the Gazans).

I always find it interesting when MsWoman, Quirky and Waltz show their racist tendencies while giving us the mock shock horror stuff about the Germans culling people in the past.

We know who runs the Banking System.
Is it possible that they also control the media?

Sometimes you wonder, don't you.

Guardian Orwellian Hole Part Umpteen

2009-12-25T10:43:00.005Z

.

Finish the year as you started.

Once More into The Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness.

'MerkinOnParis

25 Dec 2009, 2:10AM

Dear Agony Aunt,

Is a White Phosphorus attack classified as an acid attack?

Just so I know when it's legal, like.'

The Mods have managed to weed out much of The Resistance to the violence that this government controls us with.

The Graun article was about acid attacks. Usual anti-Muslim rhetoric.

Somehow it missed out the War Crimes in Gaza - crimes we wrote about earlier this year.

Wonder why?

.

I'm Not Bitchin' I'm Clownin'

2009-11-02T10:50:00.002Z

.

The Merkin has finally succumbed to the lure of X-Factor.
Well, not quite but I have watched it a few times over the last wee bit.

Why should this be so?

I meet good friend of mine a coupla times a week for the odd whisky or two and a parsing of the weeks events politically (hopefully that doesn't get us on a watch list, somewhere).

The local bar where this Tollpuddle-esque activity takes place has, in recent times, taken to showing X-Factor on the large screen for the delectation of the various Foggies, Compos, Cleggies, Victors and Jacks that inhabit the 'old man's bar'.

So, I am stuck with it as I am a very junior member of that esteemed congregation.

Secondly, my girlfriend - a very, very good karaoke singer who is, unfortunately, not a musician - gets her musical education from this very programme, it seems, while busily ignoring my unrivalled production skills.

Again, I am stuck with it such is the lure of Nat King.

No matter, at least the guy with the big hairdo is going to sing one of my favourite songs - 'Get yer Rocks Off' by Primal Scream.

But wait, how are they going to deal with those lines in the verse which mention junkies, whores, strip-joints, bitches and itchy clap?

And I guess that 'hunchbacks' is not going to figure prominently before the nine'o'clock watershed either.

Dealers keep dealin'
Thieves keep thievin'
Whores keep whorin'
Junkies keep scorin'
Trade is on the meat rack
Strip joints full of hunchbacks
Bitches keep bitchin'
Clap just keep a itchin'

What to do to prevent our vulnerable youngsters hoisting the black flag and starting to slit throats?

Easy done.
Just do the old karaoke trick of makin' up the words as you go along and hoping that no-one will notice the difference.

The result?

Dealers keep dealin'
Thieves keep thievin'
Jokers keep jokin'
Hustlers keep hustlin'
Cops keep coppin'
Hustlers keep comin'
Bitches keep bitchin'
Clowns keep comin

I can see Cowell and Walsh in Father Ted mode giving Jamie last minute instructions in the use of the bad language :

'Down With That Sort Of Thing' and 'Careful Now'.

On the other hand, perhaps I am being overly cynical and he really is the archetypal karaoke singer who doesn't mind what rubbish he spews forth.

My girlfriend will be vindicated (which is what I will be if she ever reads this post!).

.

Definitely The Black Hole,This Time.

2009-10-08T16:45:00.008Z

.

A recent Graun article on female ejaculation persuaded me to finally post an avatar on CiF.

Posted what I thought was a suitable avatar for MerkinOnParis.

Not so.

Once more into The Black Hole of Nothingness.

'MerkinOnParis

08 Oct 09, 5:21pm (about 2 hours ago)
This comment has been removed by a moderator. Replies may also be deleted.'

I was surprised that such an innocuous Avatar was deemed unsuitable and even more surprised to see that my comment had been deleted together with any which referred to it.

It was only later that I realised that I had uploaded the original Merkin from Wiki.

News Headline : 'Mass Apoplexy Strikes Graun Office.'

Oh well, I did apologise.

Of course, maybe La Henry just didn't like the colour or do all feminists really think size is that important?

.

No Comment is Free in the Guardian.

2009-09-30T22:27:00.003Z

MerkinOnParis

30 Sep 09, 3:19pm (about 8 hours ago)
This comment has been removed by a moderator. Replies may also be deleted.

'I know of one film director who is - at this very moment - trying to exercise his 'Right to Return'.'

Once more into that Black Hole of Nothingness which is the Graun.

Funnily enough, I had a girlfriend in Poland who was an actress.

Her father was a good friend of Polanski when he lived in Paris. She had the actual bell, she claimed, from Rosemary's Baby which Roman her given her father as a gift for her (knowing she was an aspiring actress).

Nothing more to be said.

I could have added further to the debate but was not given the opportunity.

Zionist control of the media?

Sometimes, I wonder.

2009-09-24T21:22:00.002Z

MerkinOnParis

24 Sep 09, 10:39am (about 12 hours ago)

This panel could certainly savage a dead sheep.

No longer there.

Into the Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness that is The Graun.

Why?

Not only me.

Any mention of dead sheep was destroyed.

Any mention of mentions of anything relating to dead sheep was destroyed, as well.

Perhaps, Mr Kettle has shares in a halal abbatoir (that was also destroyed.)

George Monbiot + Chloe Sumner = Scary

2009-09-19T02:31:00.008Z

.

The similarities between High Priest Monbiot and GreenAngel to members of The Family of are quite chilling.

One to pronounce on The Truth and one of His novices to satisfy His whim.

That Chloe Sumner is able work as a teaching assistant tells us all we need to know about the real reason NuLabour want us all on The Database.

The full post was deleted - this time no trace was left on the thread.

Fortunately, I always take a copy.

'MerkinOnParis

19 Sep 09, 3:27am (2 minutes ago)

Before I get deleted, as surely I will, I should make a few comments for posterity.

This must be the most moderated blog ever.

George has every right to delete anyone he wants - after all it is 'his' blog.

That he covers it in the Guardian is neither here nor there.

It is his choice to delete swathes of scientists, if he wants, when they don't accept his point of view.

However, when it is obvious that he does not want to engage with his critics then we must be allowed to point that out.

Some comments that will show his view - bearing in mind that not a sparrow can drop on this thread without his say-so.

***

BearWitness

18 Sep 09, 11:53pm (about 3 hours ago)

'There is no 'argument'. There is no 'debate'.

As any psychologist will tell you, denial is borne of fear. Fear of change, or fear of those things that don't fit nicely into our cosy little world view.

That fear is right here in those who would rather character assassinate GM (that's George Monbiot, not Monsanto btw) than look at the overwhelming mass of evidence.'

***

No argument, no debate?

Obviously so, I am qualified in the area that George is not so I get deleted for asking a question.

I understand.

Next.

***

DeadLetterDrop

18 Sep 09, 11:33pm (about 4 hours ago)

One of the most disturbing comments came from Chloe Sumner - a teaching assistant at a primary school, no less!

greenangelchloe's comment 17 Sep 09, 11:08pm

'This is something so obvious only the most hardened Denialists will fail to appreciate it - it's the long-term trend that is important. Even I know this and I'm not a scientist. . . . . . . What they are doing is tantamount to treason, not only against the human race but the biosphere itself. Someone somewhere should be making a list of names.'

A list of names for what purpose may we ask?

Will George Monbiot repudiate the words of his acolyte?

Some of these people are really scary.

***

George must have approved this.

Disgusting.

If you ever do anything good in your life, George, tell us that you repudiate everything that Chloe Sumner has said in relation to 'making lists' of those that don't follow the true path.'

It all disappeared, once more, into The Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness that is The Guardian

.

Merkin 2 Moonbat 0 Easier'n'Easier.

2009-09-18T15:04:00.005Z

.

I must confess I was being a little tongue in cheek.

However, Moonbat does not do humour, it seems.

Why else would my comment have been sucked into the Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness that is The Graun.

What was it I said that just had to be removed to avert the fall of Civilisation As We Know It?

All is revealed. I was responding to one of the Monbiotrolls.

'MerkinOnParis

18 Sep 09, 4:03pm (1 minute ago)

MerkinOnParis: and there are plenty of scientists here who have been modded out of the argument.

(Monbiot Troll - my edit): 'Er, no, it turns out Benny's links hadn't been deleted, they're still there if you can be bothered to scroll up. That claim was untrue.'

I did not refer to BennyBriscoe at any time, so what is your point?
We do know that some of his posts were deleted and I would think his claims were worth a lot more than some of the warmist trolling we have seen here.

However, I did say, 'What I do know is that Mr Monbiot's attacks on anyone who disagrees with the official line - on such things as MMGW and the question of how three steel framed buildings fell down in a fire - are becoming increasingly desperate.'

Now, I am just going to a prayer meeting with one of the actual Lizards who bayoneted the babies in the incubator.

Back later.'

What did I let myself in for?

Aaaaaaaaaargh. . . . . . . . .

The full panoply of control methods directed at The Merkin starting with deletion by The MonbiotMods Squad.

Why should this be so?

Perhaps, Mr Monbiot is reminded that he has no credibility as anything, other than a gatekeeper, after he cited Popular Mechanics as his source for the claim that three steel-framed buildings were brought down by a fire in New York.

Perhaps he could also explain why these, relatively minor, diesel and paraffin fires left thermite traces?

I doubt it.

You see Mr Monbiot does not do science, it seems, only GW faith pontifications.

He has been asked to debate the subject with more than one climatologist.
However, he has said he won't sit the exam unless they give him the answers in advance. Brilliant ploy.

What is he scared of?

Meanwhile, I am going to feed The Lizards their diet of Princess Diana Bones and New Improved Incubator Babies.

.

Merkin 1 Monbiot 0 - A Victory for Truth

2009-09-16T15:01:00.007Z

.

Monbiot is on the run in the Graun article and has moderated swathes of scientists in an effort to stall the inevitable.

Now, why should my comment be cast into The Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness that is the Guardian?

Is it because I am too academically qualified to be allowed to make a dissenting comment?

Is it because he knows that his citing of Popular Mechanics, in relation to the first time downing of skyscrapers in a fire, is hardly evidence of academic credibility?

' The reduction in pressure triggered the automatic pumping system, which poured thousands of gallons of diesel on to the fire. The support trusses weakened and buckled, and the building imploded. Popular Mechanics magazine polled 300 experts and came to the same conclusions.'

Could it be that he was jet-lagged after one of his junkets at my carbon-footprint expense?

We will never know.

What I do know is that he has certainly lost the argument, big style.

Former Neutrals, such as myself, will certainly think that the tipping point is seen where any dissent is immediately made history - though, in my case, immediate was a day and a half and 85 recommends later.

'MerkinOnParis

16 Sep 09, 3:59pm (1 minute ago)

I studied Environmental subjects at post-grad level and, for a long time, I followed the official line.
Now, I don't - though what brand of denier I am is not quite clear, even to me.

What I do know is that Mr Monbiot's attacks on anyone who disagrees with the official line - on such things as MMGW and the question of how three steel framed buildings fell down in a fire - are becoming increasingly desperate.

Just do the debate without an army of spin doctors to give you pro-forma answers in advance and you may have more credibility.

And, on no account cite Popular Mechanics as an informed source.

Recommended (85)'

Moonbat is a gatekeeper and as such does his best for the Nuclear Industry.

Unfortunately, people like him will be advisors doing CRB and ISA checks.

What a thought.

On second thoughts, that is his proper level.

.

No Justice For Gary McKinnon

2009-08-23T13:37:00.005Z

.

In The Graun : MerkinOnParis, 23 Aug 09, 2:35pm

Having seen the reaction of the Yankees to Our Kenny's brave and principled stance, I am even more concerned about the likelihood that Gary McKinnon will be made a scapegoat to assuage the anger over American impotence in this case.

Gee, half of them probably think that because he is a 'son of' he is somehow related to Our Kenny.

I don't think I have ever seen such a lot of racist Scotophobic tripe from the posters across the water as on this thread.
If only they were all like Our Wookie the World would be a much better place.

PS the photo shows a local being waterboarded by the Yanks in Central America, last century.

.

The Incomparable Django Reinhardt J'attendrai

2009-07-31T20:04:00.002Z

MTFC spits on your grave

2009-07-27T11:23:00.008Z

.

This excellent Martin Rowson cartoon should have been put up for a best caption competition.

Any ideas?

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The Orwellian Black Hole and The T-Word.

2009-07-20T10:28:00.006Z

Once more the Fall of Western Civilisation has been averted by my deletion from the latest Toynbee offering.

My comment lasted approximately 25 minutes.

The politics of hope

My comment 20 Jul 09, 11:02am (21 minutes ago)

'Left?
Don't make me laugh!

My villa in Tuscany is more left than Ms Toynbee.'

That Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness just keeps on sucking in any mention of the T-word.

Free Range For Corrupt Council Official

2009-07-17T11:39:00.004Z

More strange goings on in Argyll and Bute.

One Councillor has a nice wee sideline in providing 'free range eggs' supposedly from Stronchuillan Farm (but which seem to be bought in bulk elsewhere and then re-packaged)

Eggs from this farm in which he seems to have an interest are then delivered to, amongst other places, the Isle of Bute where the Depute leader of the Council also, allegedly, has a farm.

This week a council employee was ordered to use a council vehicle to deliver these eggs to an unnamed premises for re-sale.

Now, we are not interested in the fact that these eggs may be fraudulently misrepresented as being 'free range' to the long suffering people of Argyll and Bute.
We are not even interested in the insurance aspect of a council vehicle being misused for the carriage of fresh produce.

Rather, we are interested in this Councillor rejecting an appeal by a local worker who was fired - after 32 years service - on trumped up charges after refusing to do work 'off the books' for a friend of the same Councillor.

The charges were 'refusing to obey a reasonable order' and 'misuse of council property' and the story even made its way into The Sun.

Corruption is not limited to the strange goings on in Parliament it seems.

Or, maybe I am just wrong in my belief that councillors are elected to represent their constituents rather than feather their own nests at our expense.

More Corruption in The Village (Argyll and Bute Style)

2009-07-16T21:31:00.004Z

We have frequently mentioned the strange goings on this area.

Usual scoundrels are to the fore.

How about this one.

A local newspaper brought the following to my attention through a friend who is in the know.

This friend is a community council member and was surprised to find out that a new bridge had been suggested connecting his community to the mainland - at a 'public' consultation meeting to which this community council had not even been invited.

Very new labour - a so-called public meeting which no-one knew about.

Strange in itself.

When The Merkin went through the details that are, now, available we found something strange.
A report had been submitted which seemed to suggest that the people of Argyll and Bute would benefit from the proposed bridge from Ardentinny to the mainland.

Seemingly, this bridge would shave 30 miles off the 81 mile journey to Glasgow.
Supposedly, time would be saved.

Anyone looking at the map can see that this is a pipedream.
Dunoon to Glasgow via Glen Fruin?

Glen Fruin is lovely for a Sunday afternoon drive but the single track roads are hardly suitable for a major connecting road to open up a region that has been sadly neglected since The Yanks left.
The security areas are filled with ammunition dumps and other such restricted places and is perfectly suited to a new trunk road.

Not.

The Dunoon and Cowal Steering Group which is pushing this bridge is choc-full of the usual scoundrels.

One is of particular interest to this blog, having been part of a cabal which treats this area as being a personal fiefdom.

One council worker was fired on a trumped up charge after refusing to carry out unsafe work - off the books - which would benefit the political aspirations of a particular councillor.

A particular councillor was on the appeal committee which decided that this worker had mis-used council time and props.

This very same councillor came into the council offices this week and ordered the council workers to carry out work for him - again off the books - to benefit his cronies in a business deal.

This same councillor is, needless to say, one of the main protagonists in promoting a 'Bridge to Nowhere' which would only be of benefit to the navy rather than the locals - perhaps if the fast track housing development approved for Ardentinny is relevant.

Something strange going on here, don't ya think?

In times such as these everyone is a property speculator.

Some of these people couldn't even spell 'Parcel of Rogues'.

(I never said that, honest, and even if I did it is only 'fair comment' when it comes to Court).

Looking forward to it, already.

Update : sure there is lots more to follow - so, I will leave a space.

A PASS-MARK TO COMMENT

2009-07-11T16:56:00.005Z

.

'A PASS-MARK TO PROTEST' was the title of the Guardian piece by Jonathan Myerson.

Perhaps, it should have been entitled A PASS-MARK TO COMMENT?

'merkinonparis's comment 11 Jul 09, 2:54pm (about 3 hours ago)

Heard it before on these pages.
Marcel Berlins seemed to think that only people who could appear on The Round Britain Quiz had the intellect to make an informed choice in an election.

As the good Lord S said : 'maybe these young guys had already decided you were a prat'.

'He's that guy with the dysfunctional family whose son used to sell us our weed'

Recommended (3)'

If you read the thread linked to you will see why Jonathan Myerson was so soundly trashed by the CiFers.

Nonetheless, my comment disappeared into that Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness that we have come to know and love.

As my father would say 'he has a couple of Ologies and a BAFTA or two yet he knows fuck all about nothing.'

Dysfunctional family?

You bet - and you can see why.

Update :

On a more serious note Mr Myerson should count himself lucky that when he approached these vulnerable truants he was not in Telford Town Park.
There the nanny state has decreed that 'all unaccompanied adults walking in Telford Town Park are potential paedophiles. As such, park wardens have been ordered to stop and interrogate anyone who is not accompanied by children'.

Officer : 'What was the nature of your contact with these children'?

Dogwalker ; 'Well, they were interested in my puppy so I asked them a probing question about the millennium development goals'

Officer : Lettsby Avenue.
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The Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness that is The Graun, yet again.

2009-05-26T18:05:00.004Z

What did I do wrong?

I gave my opinion on Comment is Free.

Aha, but you know comment is not free on Comment is Free - at least if you mention certain subjects.

Subjects such as - the faux nature of the Crusade on Terror and subjects related.

Also happens if you link to some people who are personna such as Craig Murray.

Now, I am never sure whether the GIYUS cabal or the mods themselves are sufficiently exercised that we are descended into that black hole of Orwellian Nothingness.

See what you think.

MerkinOnParis; 26 May 09, 3:02pm

'Danny69 : 'MI5 left Siddique Khan and Shezad Tanweer alone.'

Nonsense. These guys were patsies for the security services.

People are starting to see through these 'terror plots'.

See below.

Worst Fake Terror Plot Ever?'

Disappeared without trace.

Wonder why?

Dear Nigerian Investor.

2009-05-21T10:38:00.002Z

Dear Nigerian Investor.

I have recently found a new scam which may be of interest to you all.

You may need to befriend an MP to make the most of it.

My friend, Mr Purnell bought a flat in a central London mansion block in 2000 and a house in his Manchester constituency in June 2002. He told the parliamentary authorities that his main home was in Manchester and claimed the “second home” allowance in London. In October 2004, Mr Purnell sold the London flat. He did not pay capital gains tax on the sale as the property was regarded by HM Revenue and Customs as his “principal” residence. It is not known how much profit Mr Purnell made from the transaction. It appears that Mr Purnell received specialist tax advice over the sale of the property and took advantage of a loophole in the rules. This is available to everyone and allows sellers to claim that a property is a main residence for capital-gains tax purposes provided they lived there less than three years before the sale.

Now, we need to launder the dosh before Mr Brown sends in the Manse Guards to take it all away.

Gimme yer bank details and I'll give you a swatch of the dodgy dosh.

At no time were the rules broken in the making of this advert.

Yours, most elatedly hopeful, The Merkin (son of the King of SquawBunion County)

PS I can do yez a deal on a couple of Italian properties that my friend Jowells can separate from their rightful owners.

The Real Corruption.

2009-05-19T01:11:00.002Z

Hazel Blears flipped her house a number of times.

She voted for our sons and daughters to go to war.

She made money while our guys died.

She spent a lot of time trying to work out the best way to maximize her expenses.

She has had some benefit from their deaths.

Is that right?

Straw et al Should Be In Jail for War Crimes.

2009-04-27T23:35:00.004Z

.

If you have time to watch how the torturers justify it, let's look here.

Why am I soooooo strident?

We know how the system works, that's why.

No matter.

Let's hope Craig doesn't get bombed in another Visor Security fit-up on his way to Parliament.

Anyway, here is his press release.

ORIGINAL DOWNING ST SMEARS VICTIM
RETURNS TO HAUNT NEW LABOUR

Thatcher Room
Portcullis House
Tuesday 28 April 1.45pm
Formal Evidence Session on UK Complicity in Torture
Parliamentary Joint Committee on Human Rights
Witness: Craig Murray, former British Ambassador to Uzbekistan
(currently Rector of the University of Dundee).

In 2004, Craig Murray told us that:

- The British Government was complicit in the most vicious forms of torture
- He had been the victim of a lurid smear campaign initiated by New Labour
- The government was lying about all this

In 2004, much of the public and media was not willing to accept that the government would cooperate with torture or with false allegations against an innocent man. Many still had trust in the basic honesty and decency of government.

The evidence that Craig Murray was telling the truth about torture has now become overwhelming, including from the case of Binyam Mohammed. The UK “benefited” continually from intelligence passed on from the CIA waterboarding programme and from torture in countries including Uzbekistan, Pakistan and Egypt.

Craig Murray suffered the most high profile sacking of any British Ambassador for a century. But in 2005 the House of Commons Foreign Affairs Committee refused to hear him in evidence, despite allowing Jack Straw to appear and attack him.

Astonishingly, this is the first time Craig Murray will ever have been allowed to give formal evidence in the UK on his grave allegations, and be questioned on the truth of his testimony.

As the Scotland Yard investigation proceeds into MI5 and MI6 collusion in 16 cases of torture, Craig Murray will argue that it is not the security service operatives, but the Ministers who set the policy – and specifically Jack Straw – who should be facing criminal charges.

Contact: Craig Murray on 07979 691085 or craigmurray@mail.ru
Transcript of Craig Murray's formal evidence statement is at

http://www.craigmurray.org.uk/archives/2009/03/trying_again_my.html

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Makepeace JacquiBlue not Fantasy

2009-04-22T01:15:00.006Z

In the seventies, WE knew all about terrorism.
We had it on a weekly basis.

I liked Dempsey and Makepeace, The Professionals and The Sweeney.

It was that time.

Some things change but the ever present threat of a 'sugar bomb' is one that should, both, chill and shock us 24 hours a day.

Still, the burden of proof appears to have changed over the years.

For example, at 8.50secs in the video :

Harriet Makepeace : They've bought anti-tank weapons, automatic rifles, stun grenades and they've been inspecting gas installations.
Now, we have enough to book them on conspiracy, right now, why don't we do it?

Spikings, the Cowley-esque boss, : Good Morning, Sergeant.

Now, if Glynis Barber couldn't get a collar when they were found 'bang to rights' how the hell does Jacqui expect to do it with a few 'sugar sachets' from 'Greasy Joe's 24/7 Conspiracy Halal Coffee Stall'?

Could it be that, as Mr Murray says, this is a bomb plot with no bomb and no plot?

PS Glynis Barber was a big ride in those days.

Use It or Lose That Love Mussel - it'll just shrivel up, you know

2009-04-19T15:39:00.006Z

The BBC tells us that 'An Amazonian ant has dispensed with sex and developed into an all-female species, researchers have found.'

So, it seems, Harriet HarPerson and Polly Toynbee went to the wrong continent on their gender equality junket.

Polly Toynbee took a right beasting from the good people of CiF on Saturday after writing a promo piece for NuLabour telling us how Gordon had saved the world with Harriet's help (something like that).

Needless to say this attempt to ignore the stench of rotting Labour over the past week did not go un-noticed.

No matter, getting back to the title :

And when they dissected the female insects, they found them to be physically incapable of mating, as an essential part of their reproductive system known as the "mussel organ" had degenerated.

Exactly what The Merkin has been saying to the girls for years with regard to brains and pussy.

And doesn't Polly look like the perfect example?

As Craig Murray said, 'Polly Toynbee, self-appointed guardian of the poor of the world - and stupid muddled-headed old bat.'

Dark Side of The Broon

2009-04-15T00:40:00.014Z

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Mr Brown's smear team apparently wanted to make comment about Mrs Osborne and her 'supposed' mental instability.
I think they managed another cock-up and were actually gossipping about MTFC's mental state.

No matter.

It was bad enough that JaquiBlue spoiled my memories of the Ozarks.

Now, the thought that I can never listen to Pink Floyd without getting the boke is almost enought to make me Shred my Collection.

Frank Field, even reopened the question of Brown's leadership, saying the party would have "a last chance" to look at the verdict of the country after the European elections in June. He claimed Brown had a dual personality, including "a dark side".

Including a Dark Side?

Is there no end to this iniquity?

Mr Tomlinson and the orders to beat the protest out of us.

The curious death of Jean Charles de Menezes

The curious deaths of Messrs Smith, Kelly and Stone

The curious 7/7 train (full of bombers) that never was

Tom Watson 'The Photographer' in the Sion Jenkins video

Now, whenever I think of The Fister and The Dinner Lady I will make sure my computer is cleared of all Ray Mears videos.
Better still, in view of the current debacle, I will have to remove 99 Red Non-Balloons (all of whom are on out on bail).

DarkSide Update : It seems that RedRag was registered from The House of Commons by someone giving his/her name as Ollie Cromwell.

If the name is false - and The Merkin rather supects that it is - why is Yates of The Yard not, at this moment, investigating this fraudulent declaration?

Could it be that he is too busy not investigating JacquiBlue's false declaration about her second home?

Could it be that he is too busy not investigating the false statements made by the chairman of the IPCC?

Could it be he is too busy not investigating the malfeasance of McBride and Watson?

Or, could it just be that he is too busy analysing the sugar sachets found through Operation Pathway to find out if there is a prima facie case for charging these (mostly) foreign nationals with theft from MacDonalds, Kentucky Fried and Pizza Hut?

You wanna smear with The Merkin?

Altogether now . . . . . .

'Always look on the Dark Side of The Broon, da da da da da dada da'

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What's a dose amongst friends?

2009-04-13T00:31:00.002Z

Who the fuck gives a toss whether a fagette from The Bullingdon Club caught a dose?

Seems the Graun does.

Don't mention The Dose.

McBride suggested spreading gossip, entirely unfounded, that Cameron may have suffered from a sexually transmitted disease.

Nearly choked on my penicillin.

I just loved it, considering that McPoison's bum chum shows all the signs of suffering from burnt out tabes.

Especially in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time (not knowing what day of the week, day of the month, or even what year it is), in place (not knowing where they are), and in person (not knowing who they are or others around them).

Does that sound like the Fister in Chief?

Hoist by his own Cillice, no?

Aren't Our Police Medics Wonderful?

2009-04-09T16:37:00.005Z

.

Wonder if this was the same medic who 'attended' to Mr Tomlinson?

Of course, we will never find out because the Inquest will eventually be held in secret under new laws designed to cover-up such things.

Looking at this new video reminds me very much of my days teaching karate : note the stance and the deliberate lunge which are taught from day one to be automatic.

Friday update :

Anticant was quite correct to point out the obfuscation in extremis carried out by the chairman of the IPCC and his link is most helpful.

As the interviewer points out, the assailant acted immediately after being instructed by a senior police officer.

Truly shocking to surmise that he was given a direct order to attack.

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Jacqui Blue Does Redditch like Dallas

2009-03-31T23:48:00.006Z

.

Simon Jenkins, in The Graun said, of JaquiBlue : How many times must the home secretary have been assured in security briefings that her latest purchase of some data storage gizmo was "totally secure"?

I presumed he was meaning videos and DVD roms.

Aha, Videos and CDs and DVDs as storage devices for her researcher to peruse in the comfort of her second home.

Do you think she was trying to hide something of national importance within a couple of stroker videos?

After all, as The Times reported, her own dept told us how it is done

Secret coded messages are being embedded into child pornographic images, and paedophile websites are being exploited as a secure way of passing information between terrorists.

I think there is more to come out having reported on this some time ago.

As was pointed out, she claimed for 88p on a bath plug - but we know it was a typo.

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Oooooh, Oooooh, Ooooh JacquiBlue

2009-03-29T18:53:00.005Z

.

Spoiled my week she did.

Not because of the sixty thousand snoopers who will be watching my every move.

Not because of the hypocrisy that she doesn't torture people.

No.

It was the song, dammit.

One of the best gigs I ever saw was the Ozark Mountain Daredevils.

Round about 1977 - memories are a bit choice at that time.

They played Jackie Blue.

Great song.

Loved the song, still do.

You know the phrase 'Don't think about elephants'?.

Every time I hear about our Home Secretary, or The Ozarks, I will think about a sad old woman who used to be a kitchen porter masturbating in her room under the stairs.

Oooooh, oooooh, ooooh, ughhhhh, ughhhhhh, JacquiBlue.

Am I truly a sad bastard?

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Forget my own head if it wasn't sewn on, so I would.

2009-03-20T18:08:00.006Z

.

I am not a great one for ceremony, as you know.
Or ceremonies, for that matter.

However, there are some that I won't forget.

One from this time last year and one from five years before.

Away in body but not in spirit.

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Tineal Affection or Affliction?

2009-03-04T17:12:00.008Z

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Just watched Our Gordon's homage to the Land of the Free Market Torturer.

'Alliances can wither or be destroyed, but partnerships of purpose are indestructible. Friendships can be shaken, but our friendship is unshakeable. Treaties can be broken but our partnership is unbreakable.

And I know there is no power on earth than can drive us apart.'

Fingers were right down the throat at that one.

As someone said, yesterday, after watching his meeting with Obama

'I half-expected him to start dry-humping Obama's leg'.

Today was just as embarrassing.

At one point, I thought he was going to burst into song.

Love, love will keep us together
Think of me babe whenever
Some sweet talking girl comes along singing her song
Don't mess around,
You gotta be strong
Just Stop [stop], 'cause I really love You
Stop [stop], I'll be thinking of you
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

You, You belong to me now
Ain't gonna set you free now
When those girls start hanging around talking me down
Hear with your heart and you won't hear a sound
Just Stop [stop], 'cause I really love you
Stop [stop], I'll be thinking of you
Look in my heart and let love keep us together, what ever.

Young and beautiful
Someday your looks will be gone
When the others turn you off
Who'll be turning you on

I will, I will, I will, I will
Be there to share forever
Love will keep us together
Said it before and I'll say it again while others pretend
I'll need you now and I'll need you then
Stop 'cause I really love Ya
Stop I'll be thinking of Ya
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

'Who will save us from the Clunking Fister?', said Obama

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Tony Blair nearly killed off The Merkin

2009-03-02T02:07:00.004Z

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I very nearly had a heart attack.

Impetuous as I may sometimes be, my impetuosity nearly had dire effect.

What caused this, you may ask?

'A flash mob of around 200 Palestinian figures has paid tribute to Tony Blair, the much loved creator of . . . . .'

While I was busy shouting for all around to administer, CPM, whisky and smelling salts, my - by now - barely roving eye managed to focus once again on the headline that was killing me.

Saved.

It actually read :

'A flash mob of around 200 Plasticine figures has paid tribute to Tony Hart, the much loved creator of . . '

Lucky escape.

(until, Our Tony becomes European President, that is.)

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The Graun reminds us that Iain(who?) Gray actually is Scottish Labour Leader.

2009-02-18T00:14:00.009Z

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What are they so scared of?

I posted on a Graun article by Iain Gray.
The article was a stinging attack on Alex Salmond.

A bit over the top, I thought.

Second thought : 'Who the fuck is Iain Gray?'

Now, you may say that a politically aware Merkin should have been immediately aware that Iain Gray is Scottish Labour leader.

Well, yes. Well, no.

Mr Gray has obviously not ingrained himself in my psyche sufficient to blot out the awful memory of Wendy, Jack the Kilt and 'taxi-for' McLeish - as rum a bunch of corrupt politicians as ever made a parcel of rogues.

So, in view of my difficulties, I presumed that many others would have the same memory hole.

MerkinOnParis, 15 Feb 09, 6:19pm said :

'I had to push the profile button to remind myself who Iain Gray actually is'

Nothing untrue there.

Still, I was moderated.

Deleted.

Cast into the Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness that sees CP Scott spinning in his grave next to me.

Now, why was the fall of Western Civilisation averted by Merkin's sad demise on that day?

Of course!!
I had also committed the arch sin of quoting Iain Gray (who?) in my post.

'Although he may not look it, he's been found out to be a lightweight who is just not up to the job.'

That explains it.

Anyway, to the implication in my having quoted Iain (who?) Gray's words.

A lightweight?

If Iain (who?) Gray speaks out against renewal of Trident, imposition of ID cards, dumping of nuclear waste near my house - nimby that i am - and a host of other major issues then he could be considered a heavyweight.

Till then Salmond is the only one punching above his weight.

A fighter who appears to be threatening to Nu-Lab and Mandy Graun and friends.

PS Is there anyone else who is reminded of Titus Groan's Steerpike whenever they see or hear Jim Murphy, Secretary of State for Scotland?

'Limb by limb, it appeared that he was sound enough, but the sum of these several members accrued to an unexpectedly twisted total. His face was pale like clay and save for his eyes, mask-like. These eyes were set very close together, and were small, dark red, and of startling concentration'

Personality, to boot.

'If ever he had harboured a conscience in his tough narrow breast he had by now dug out and flung away the awkward thing - flung it so far away that were he ever to need it again he could never find it. High-shouldered to a degree little short of malformation, slender and adroit of limb and frame, his eyes close-set and the colour of dried blood, . . . '

I am sure the Graun would delete that if I posted it.

Yet, originally, all I said was 'Who the fuck is Iain Gray?'

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Oooooh, Gordon, a Transport of Delight.

2009-02-15T01:33:00.008Z

Government Transport Policy has been as joined up as any other policy they have unveiled.
Push through a third runway at Heathrow - against all advice - and downgrade the replacement for HST into a hybrid that is completely revolutionery ie no-one has tried this before.

Worse still, the trains will be made, more or less, in Japan and put together here.

Now, the Japanese do know something about making trains.
They must be pissin' themselves laughing at us buying bitz'n'pieces of their leftover prototypes.

I said to Barnacle Bill 'Maybe the trains will have no floors a la Flintstones and the unemployed could be utilised in a green way'.

His reply?

'That might actually be an improvement on what NuLabor has ordered for us, and this country used to be the leading maker of trains!'

The Old Polish train at the top appears to be smiling.

I wonder why?

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'The Black Hole of Orwellian Nothingness on CiF' - Part Umpteen.

2009-02-13T17:05:00.007Z

What exactly does The Guardian hope to gain by thrusting my comment into the hole of Orwellian Nothingness?

Today we saw a typical attack from the GIYUS cabal on Soumaya Ghanoushi.

Ripe for revolution by Sounaya Ghanoushi

merkinonparis's comment 13 Feb 09, 1:40am (about 15 hours ago)

'Soumaya said : Four months before the Shah was forced to flee, the CIA issued a report describing his regime as stable.

Agreed.

But, there is more than that to US/UK hypocrisy.

'With the establishment of Iran's atomic agency and the NPT in place, the Shah approved plans to construct, with U.S. help, up to 23 nuclear power stations by the year 2000.'

Recommended (6)

Teacup

13 Feb 09, 6:06am (about 11 hours ago)

'MerkinOnParis,

Great post and fascinating information. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.'

(Ed : Needless to say, by mid-afternoon, my words of truth were a bit too strong for the warmongers and my comment was deleted from the pages of the Graun - but not from the collective memory.)

Thanks for the support, Teacup.

.

Iain Dale's Diary: Why Jacqui Smith Should be Investigated

2009-02-12T00:53:00.000Z

Iain Dale's Diary: Why Jacqui Smith Should be Investigated

Merkin Has Old Timer's Disease?

2009-01-15T00:59:00.010Z

.

Conor Foley said something yesterday to Fiorili in response to one of my comments on CiF :

'Fio: you can call me Conor - all my friends do - and don't worry about not understanding everything that Merk says, the rest of us often have the same problem as well.'

Well, Conor may not understand my point of view.

Lots of others do as can be seen from the following :

'merkinonparis's comment 24 Dec 08, 12:34am

'In the end, it was a lone Spanish magistrate, not a Chilean court, who ensured the arrest of Augusto Pinochet.'

In the end?

In the end it was a British Cabinet Minister who made sure he didn't receive the justice that his murders deserved.

A Cabinet Minister who is still with us.'

Recommended (203) from 695 comments

merkinonparis's comment 29 Dec 08, 4:03pm

'The only people who are really calling this government to account are those who post on the net.
Of course the government wants to control them.'

Recommended (101) from 218 comments

Update 31st jan 09 :

merkinonparis's comment 27 Jan 09, 12:36am

'"Passports are not issued to us on condition we do exactly what we are told by the state ... If such arbitrary powers are used against absentee fathers, how long before they are used against other people who have annoyed the authorities in some way?"

Correct.'

Recommended (220) from 928 comments

This one is especially interesting.

The quotation had been used by Toynbee but was taken by her from the Daily Heil.

That whirring sound you hear is Arnold spinning in his grave, drilling his way to revenge in Tuscany, no doubt.

No matter.

Anyway, when Conor says :

'don't worry about not understanding everything that Merk says, the rest of us often have the same problem as well.'

you know he is talking a lot of pish.

Moral of the story?

Conor, do your research.

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Soaraway Corruption in The Village.

2009-01-14T01:57:00.009Z

Those of you who are regulars on this site will know that Local corruption as well as National corruption and International corruption has been well within the range of The Merkin's beady eye.

We have spoken about Local corruption time and time and time again.

And again.

The denizens of this dark den had commented more often than not.

One person in the know had it right :

'Richard W. Symonds said...'

Send it to Private Eye as a matter of urgency.

If you want the email address, let me know.

'They' simply can't be allowed to get away with it.'

Me?

I would prefer to talk to the guys in The Sun.

Quicker and easier.

This one is a beauty (I am reliably informed after speaking to some of the councilors involved).

Let me set the scene.

A Council Leader wanting to do a favour for his friends - and constituents - in the big houses.

A couple of bin-men on very low wages.

Davids and Goliath, it seems.

I had seen how the Council's own Health and Safety guys had condemned some of the private and unadopted roads which the local workers had to travel on.

The Council Leader had dismissed this report and, through a subordinate, ordered the local workers to ignore Health and Safety law under pain of dismissal.

Unfortunately, the unions were not helpful in the matter and the workers were forced into a Dickensian treadmill in order to keep their jobs.

Still, enough is enough and, eventually, the following happened.

One council employee - someone who had actually featured in a story in The Sun about local corruption - ordered the bin men, one day, to repair this private road, bypassing the council's own Roads Dept (Shhhhhh, do it on the quiet, so there is no billing to audit).

Obviously, it's not their job any more than an order from The Leader to dig The Merkin's private garden of love would be.

Quite rightly, they refused to carry out this work - on a road which is not even adopted by the Council - and were promptly put 'on a charge'.

A 'disciplinary hearing' took place last week and, in part, collapsed due to council incompetence in even carrying out the correct procedure.

Not to be deterred, the council immediately instituted disciplinary proceedings against almost the whole department - for having spoken to The Sun.

In addition, they also re-instituted the original disciplinary investigation against The Refusniks who had refused to carry out illegal and unsafe work.

Life in The Village seems to depend on 'strange handshakes' to be tolerable.

Rest assured, your Super Soaraway Merkin will never allow dignity to be superseded by the demands of the domino team, the bowls team or even the T.A.

It is often said that 'we get the politicians we pay for'.

Who, in This Village would disagree with that.

Not many.

I am sure there is more to follow, but we don't agree that The Council Leader should have a private Fiefdom whereby he can order the local workers to carry out work to support his political ambitions.

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The Catholic Orangemen of Togo

2009-01-12T02:52:00.014Z

'Craig Murray's adventures in Africa from 1997 to 2001 are a rolliciking good read. He exposes for the first time the full truth about the "Arms to Africa" affair which was the first major scandal of the Blair Years. He lays bare the sordid facts about British mercenary involvement in Africa and its motives. This is at heart an extraordinary account of Craig Murray's work in negotiating peace with the murderous rebels of Sierra Leone, and in acting as the midwife of Ghanaian democracy. Clearly his efforts were not only difficult but at times very dangerous indeed. Yet the story is told with great humour. Not only do we meet Charles Taylor, Olusegun Obasanjo, Jerry Rawlings and Foday Sankoh, but there are unexpected encounters with others including Roger Moore, Jamie Theakston and Bobby Charlton! Above all this book is about Africa. Craig Murray eschews the banal remedies of the left and right to share with us the deep knowledge and understanding that comes over 30 years working in or with Africa. Gems of wisdom and observation scatter the book, as does a deep sense of moral outrage at the consequences of centuries of European involvement: even though he explains that much of it was well-intentioned but disastrous.'

Book reviews :

'chilling and Shocking' - MerkinOnParis

"unputdownable" - Boldscot

"well worth a look" - Mercenary Monthly

"where, exactly, is Togo?" - David Miliband

A very famous blogger - TwitterAndBustedWithPurpleKnickers - has kindly allowed me to link to her site if you want to read the tome in question.

And, read it you should as it gives a little background to the corruption that informs British Colonial intervention in Africa.

The next time someone tells you that 'aid' goes to the people via a 'black hole', you can explain how that 'black hole' is more man-made than that from the Hadron Collider.

However, the corruption that takes place in British politics is my favourite part of the book :

'The Customs and Excise team told me that the recommendation was that both Spicer and Penfold be prosecuted for breach of the embargo.

The dossier was returned to Customs and Excise from the Crown Prosecution Service the very same day it was sent. It was marked, in effect, for no further action.

The decision not to prosecute in the Sandline case was the first major instance of the corruption of the legal process that was to be the hallmark of the Blair years.'

It's all there.

Read it here.

Or here

If the link doesn't work (there have been strange goings on afoot) then look at original documents here :

cover

front pages

meat

PS if you want to buy the book you can go here

A first ever advert on The Merkin Blog!!

Proportionality is a Dirty Word

2009-01-09T14:38:00.009Z

Now, I am not going to tell you what these photos represent.

Can anyone guess?

I'll give you a hint - they are from the Gaza 'situation'

One of them shows an attack on Israel.

Two of them show an attack on Gaza.

Can you tell which is which?

If you can't, all I can say is you must have the Moral Compass of MTFC.

I was pointed in the direction of these photos by FreemanMoxy on a CiF blog about GIYUS and the Israeli spin machine.

His original comment was thrown into the black hole of Orwellian nothingness that is deletion hell but he re-posted the info in another form :

'FreemanMoxy

09 Jan 09, 1:33pm (about 2 hours ago)

Oh what a suprise, the mods have removed the link.

The author Ken MacLeod is not as gutless. Visit his blog, The Early Days of a Better Nation.'

The first time I visited Auschwitz I took photos and posted them back home.
My father gave them to a friend who had lived there for 3 years and never been back to Poland since then.

He cried at the memory.

I had been reticent about taking these photos in the first place but felt that The Whole World should see them.

The photos of Gaza are the same - and these ones show things from both sides.

Look - if you dare!

Update : If you want to see how much hardware is going into Israel for the expansion of the war on Iran, look no further.

And in case you repeat the mantra 'They were only defending themselves' then do listen to Mark Regev admitting that no Hamas rockets fell during the ceasefire.

Gerald Kaufmann MP said it very well when he said 'My grandmother did not die to provide cover for Israeli soldiers murdering Palestinian grandmothers in Gaza. The present Israeli government ruthlessly and cynically exploits the continuing guilt from gentiles over the slaughter of Jews in the Holocaust as justification for their murder of Palestinians.'

MTFC - Gordon Brown, Son of the Manse

2009-01-07T02:54:00.007Z

Barnacle Bill always refers to Mr Brown as OGUL - Our Glorious Unelected Leader.

Just fine.

Gordon Brown has 'picked up' a few nicknames along the way.

Gay Gordon

The Clunking Fist

The Fisting Clunk

The Fifeshire Feartie

All of these have some merit, I am sure.

However, after the latest bout of hypocrisy over the attack on the Ghetto in Gaza, I will never think of him as any less than MTFC.

The Final Solution in Gaza will never happen - but that does not absolve him of responsibility for helping those who would oppress the Palestinians - and us.

Perhaps NIKE should sponsor him - for once an appropriate choice.

The Clunking Hypocrite - As Usual.

2009-01-04T23:54:00.006Z

Gaza has been under siege for a number of years and, now, a Final Solution seems to be in sight with a full invasion by the IDF.
Will it be any more successful than the attacks on Falluja or South Ossetia or the attempts to kill the Roma in Auschwitz?

Well no, but they will still have had assistance, from a well known Son of the Manse, in the spin war.

Craig Murray said it exactly right :

'Gordon Brown Is a Murderous Two Faced Cunt'

Brown is appeasing domestic horror at the Israeli massacre in Gaza by calling for a ceasefire. Meanwhile British diplomats on the United Nations Security Council are under direct instructions to offer "tacit support" to United States' efforts to block a ceasefire.

I have been told this directly by a former colleague in the UK Mission to the United Nations.

Now, you may say 'this is politics, of course they lie'.

More fool you, eventually.

.

Merkin's Xmas Message Musings

2008-12-26T16:52:00.008Z

.

Channel 4 was very brave in showing an alternative Xmas message from The President of Iran.
I didn't watch it till later - I hadn't even known it was on until finding out my nephew had watched it.

So, I had a look and it was very interesting.

I don't speak the same language as the President and maybe he actually said something completely different from the translation (the famous Memri 'bad translation' springs to mind).

Still, I don't think there is much for me to disagree with in this part.

'If Christ were on earth today, undoubtedly He would stand with the people in opposition to bullying, ill-tempered and expansionist powers.

If Christ were on earth today, undoubtedly He would hoist the banner of justice and love for humanity to oppose warmongers, occupiers, terrorists and bullies the world over.

If Christ were on earth today, undoubtedly He would fight against the tyrannical policies of prevailing global economic and political systems, as He did in His lifetime.'

If only our Head of State were as free, or as willing, as the Iranian Head of State to speak out against those forces of oppression which are ruining the World.

Sadly, she isn't.

If she can't say what she thinks what hope is there for us?

.

Your SoarawayFantasistSun fucks up again

2008-12-19T00:00:00.004Z

She said, something like, 'If you can't say you are the man who did it, you will never be able to fulfill me'.

The officer concerned and Britton, the 'psychologist', should be in jail for conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.

The actual murderer had admitted to his mother that he had committed one of the rapes which eventually led to his conviction.

The police seem to have ignored it in favour of Trial by Sun.

More to follow, I am sure.

Gordon Saves, Moses Invests.

2008-12-11T01:52:00.006Z

Misplaced by Mandy, yet again.

I said :

'I saw this written on a toilet wall

Gordon Saves, Moses Invests.

the man is clearly a schizophrenic'

In order to avert the fall of Western Civilisation, the Graun thought fit to moderate it into that black hole of Orwellian Nothingness.

Yet, I was brought up with 'Jesus Saves, Moses Invests' at my University.

Perhaps, I wasn't beaten enough at school.

Perhaps, they can't take the truth?

Murder by Bliar, Brown et al. Covered Up.

2008-12-04T02:03:00.006Z

"All interested persons agree that a verdict of unlawful killing could only be left to you if you could be sure that a specific officer had committed a very serious crime: murder or manslaughter,"

All interested persons?

Damn Tootin'.

As Craig Murray said '....'Name Tony Blair, Jack Straw, Alistair Campbell, John Scarlett, John Kerr, Peter Ricketts, Richard Stagg and John Williams as the offenders (take my word for it as someone who was in the FCO's Senior Management Structure of the time, they are the main offenders).'

Yeah, sure, interested persons.

Sure, one refers to the the JCdM case, the other refers to the 'dodgy dossier'.

However, both show the Executive at its murderous, lying best.

Update, 12 December 08

'The jury at the inquest into the death of Jean Charles de Menezes today rejected Scotland Yard's claim that he was lawfully killed as part of an anti-terrorism operation.

Banned by the coroner, Sir Michael Wright, from returning a verdict of unlawful killing, the five men and five women decided on an open verdict – the most critical that was available to them.

In a series of answers to a list of crucial questions, they dismissed the testimony of the senior firearms officer who shot De Menezes – suggesting they did not believe the officer was acting in self-defence.

The jury found that the firearms officer, C12, did not shout "armed police" before shooting De Menezes and that the Brazilian did not move towards him aggressively, prompting the fatal shot.

In a statement, De Menezes's cousin Patricia Armani Da Silva said the jury would have gone further and recorded a verdict of unlawful killing "had they not been gagged by the coroner".

"The jury's verdict is a damning indictment of the multiple failures of the police and the lies they told," she said.'

I'll be long dead before 'Star Wars' works

2008-11-05T12:24:00.006Z

In the late 80's I was visiting a friend in South America.
Ended up, one day, in a bar in Puerto Stroessner, Paraguay.
A real dive, but cold beer. Fine.

And we're sitting with another guy we've travelled with from Brazil.
He's an arsehole, but an interesting arsehole.
He had already tried to persuade me to hold on to his Canadian passport so he could cross the border using his U.N. 'Laissez Faire' Passport – to see if it works. No thanx.

Anyway, he tells us about his work. He lives in South America working on the Fusion Project.
He is a laser specialist.
He tells us that the Yanks wanted him to work on Star Wars but that he had refused.
Partly because he is against war, partly because it won't work.

He then proceeds to explain 'why?' – on the back of a beer mat. Traditional, eh?

He draws a diagram showing the States and USSR.
OK. The Sovs send a rocket and it takes about twenty minutes.
We need a laser of blah blah Watts. Bang. Fine.
He does the equation on the back of the beermat.
So, the Sovs rotate the rocket and we now need a laser of blah blah watts. Fine.
He does the new equations.
So, the Sovs put metal plates on the rocket which rotate in the opposite direction to the rotation of the rocket. We now need a laser of blah blah power.
And he draws the relevant equation on the beermat.

At this point, I look round the bar.
It is full of dodgy Peter Lorre types who have significantly extended ears listening to these three foreigners.
I say 'Eddie, enough, I am not interested'.
He kindly desists.

As I have a very unusual foreign name, for a Brit, I was very paranoid.
I could see the headlines already.

'CIA Arrest Boldscot In Paraguay Over Star Wars Leak.'

So, I am looking at these articles on missile defense systems with a particular eye. And a cynical one at that.

If she only knew!

2008-11-04T14:40:00.011Z

Did AntiCant have a previous career as a snapper?

There's a lot of it about

2008-10-31T02:17:00.011Z

.
Spike Milligan was a real funnyman and surely got it right about the future when he wrote this script in 1983 :

Laugh at a cretin; Unemploymethon

'ROUSING, FUN TYPE, MUSIC, AS SIMILAR AS POSSIBLE TO LONDON WEEKEND'S 'GAME FOR A LAUGH'.
PAN ACROSS GLITTERY CAPTION : 'LAUGH AT A CRETIN' WE HEAR A LOUD JOLLY VOICE OVER :

VOICE OVER : Yes, it's 'Laugh at a cretin'. The show where the old, the educationally sub-normal, the poor, the disadvantaged, are laughed at by a load of awful fat woman with false teeth.

BRIEF CUT AWAY TO WEMBLEY CROWD CHEERING.'

Milligan wrote this 7 years after Russell Brand was born.

.

Russell Brand, Ponce or Nonce?

2008-10-28T21:59:00.015Z

The Guardian, Comment is Free

MerkinOnParis
Oct 28 08, 12:07am

'I would never get tired of punching Russell Brand'

That's all I said. Nine words.

I got towards 100 recommends and, more importantly, NOT ONE comment which said that my wish to protect a 78 year old pensioner was in some way disproportionately vocalized.

Far from it, there was actually support in other CiF blogs.

'If anyone gives either of them a right good seeing to it would be as much as they deserve.
Having said that, to abuse anyone never mind a 78 year old pensioner is deplorable.

To do it for money is even worse.

Recommended (101)'

And rightly so.

There is no reason to phone up elderly people and abuse them 'for fun'.
That 'for fun' mentality results in a lot of cats and dogs with fireworks up their arses on Guy Fawkes Night.
That 'for fun' was even 'the Abhu Graib excuse' for some defendants.

I digress. Nine words.

Then, I was moderated - about 15 hours after posting!

My comment on CiF doesn't exist now.
Vapourised.
Disappeared into the black hole of Orwellian history.

However, it does exist in the collective memory of those who agreed with me.

Perhaps I should have said : 'Russell Brand is an arrogant ponce who gets kicks from making dirty phone calls in order to bully other people'.

My family was on the receiving end of similar nonce calls at one point and, believe me, it was very distressing for those targeted.

Will Brand get his collar felt for this offence (people have been put on the sex offenders register for similar offences to his)?

No, he'll get a pay rise for bringing in extra publicity.

Will You Stroke my Love Bombs, Wee One?

2008-10-18T17:07:00.018Z

LWTC24/7 said it very nicely :

"More child porn" demands bin Laden in latest tape said an Al Qaeda member as he opened up his latest e-mail. After taking n the visual treat for 10 minutes or so, he clicked ‘Start, programs and then AQ 2008(SE).

Propaganda and Psy-Ops manifest themselves in different ways.

Don't believe the official line about 9/11 or 7/7?
You must be a conspiracy theorist - believing in Giant Lizards and David Icke as Montezuma.
Even Vlad Putin was characterised as a conspiracy theorist by The Graun.

If that doesn't work lets try something else.

As we know, the official line about the War of Terror is starting to wear a bit thin.

Even Christopher Hitchens, finally, said :

'There is no such organisation as ‘Al Qaeda’. The spooks know this, Cabinet Ministers know this and so do the ‘security correspondents’ who so readily trot out the spooks’ point of view on our broadcasting networks.'

Fewer and fewer people believe the Government line so, like junkies, they have to try something stronger to get the masses on board.

During the Summer, they tried the Russian Bear as being the latest terrorist threat.
Didn't work.
Those and such as those were severely trashed when trying to put forward the view that 'Russia invaded Georgia'.

It didn't help that MillyVanilli was proved to be a 'figment of the imagination' who didn't even know who his enemy was.

Try something else.

So, now, Osama (sic) is a kiddie fondler? - and anyone who disbelieves the official line is a paedo?.

More Soma anyone?

As Stef says, 'Just how f***ing stupid do They think We are?!!'
.
.
.
.
Well, obviously they do.

Update : Friday 24th

John Pilger has a good article in The Graun about 'protecting the children' as an excuse for another land and resource grab.

'"The land grab of Aboriginal tribal land has nothing to do with child sexual abuse," says the Australian scientist Helen Caldicott, "but all to do with open slather uranium mining and converting the Northern Territory to a global nuclear dump."

Update : Sunday 26th

' . . . the Rudd government prepares plans for a field trial of internet service provider (ISP) filtering products, with a view to introducing them nationally.'

'The aim, he said, was to create a safer online environment for Australian children.'

The Three Caballeros - Merkel, Sarkozy and Bruno

2008-10-06T00:32:00.009Z

Earlier, I sent a mention to Barnacle Bill on his excellent blog (something about European solidarity).
It set me thinking.

'Oh, through fair
and stormy weather
We're always together
So let come what may
The three caballeros
Forever we'll stay'

Only a few days ago, we heard Ms Merkel stress that guaranteeing deposits was not the way to go.
Bruno said 'no unlimited guarantees' and 'led' the moves towards a piffling fund for small businesses that could easily be covered by a single parachute bonus to a failed banker.
Sarkozy also said that the EU must stick together - yet on Thursday guaranteed “not a single depositor will lose a single Euro because a financial establishment turns out to be unable to fulfil its obligations”.

It did not take long for this show of solidarity to show its ugly face :

LONDON (MarketWatch) -- Germany became the latest, and by far the biggest, European country to explicitly guarantee the deposits in banks held by their citizens, in a move announced Sunday.

As I write, Bruno is trying to get the spin together to explain exactly why Darling Alastair will shortly be announcing something similar for the Brits.

Of course, The Three Gay Caballeros could equally apply to the re-birth of the Prince of Darkness being 'joined at the hip' with Gay Gordon (and a Middle Man or two).

We're Three happy chappies
with snappy sarapes
You'll find us beneath our sombreros
We're brave and we'll stay so
We're bright as a peso
Who says so, we say so
We're three caballeros

So, Mandelson has been back at the side of the PM for only 3 days and already the wheels are falling off another wagon on the euro-train.

'Way to go' as they say across the pond.

Maverick caught bang to rights.

2008-10-04T14:38:00.007Z

Who is the tall, dark stranger there?
Maverick is the name.
Ridin’ the trail to who knows where,
Luck is his companion. Gamblin’ is his game.

John McCain rode to the rescue of the mighty Dollar - or did he?

Worth looking at is 'The bizarre tale of how the media turned a crooked Republican into the mirage of a principled politician.'

Is there a possibility that the reason Brown and Bush have acted without regard for the wishes of the majority in recent years is that they know there is piss all we can do about it.?

Reports tell us that, in America, the threat of Martial Law (perhaps more than a threat) was used to cajole politicians into voting for 'The Bailout' which legalises the largest robbery in history.

I accept that Martial Law in Congressional terms is different to the notion of having soldiers on the streets imposing a curfew, but the slippery slope is being tilted as we speak.

That The Bailout can't work is pretty obvious and difficult times will continue.
Difficult enough to suspend the electoral process in the US and the UK?

Doggone it, darn right, you betcha bottom dollar on a hockey mom's cotton socks.

Trig, Track and Oink go to Bristol.

2008-09-23T13:44:00.007Z

Pigs are big news these days and The Merkin was truly prescient in his juxtaposition of beauty and lard (particularly bellies) in a previous posting.

Just a coincidence, perhaps.

Fair enough, the pig was not wearing lipstick and should you be seized of the mistaken belief that pigs never fly, then it is just possible that Grannie Palin may one day have her finger on The Button.
However, once the pig is out of the poke you can't get it back so easily.

And just to show how absolutely dangerous pigs can be, a cautionary tale from a land down under.

'A pig the size of a Shetland pony has trapped an Australian woman in her village home, the national broadcaster reported Tuesday.Caroline Hayes, 63, has tried leave her house in Uki in northern New South Wales to use the outdoor toilet but says the animal has bitten her and shoved her back inside.'

Pork Chops for thought, eh?

Palintologists Are Dinosaurs Who Like Younger Chicks.

2008-09-05T09:42:00.004Z

If a woman like this told you that Dinosaurs and Humans lived together in Paradise after the world was created 6,000 years ago, would you argue?
If she told you that the proof is in the peanut butter would you believe her?

BreastFeeding for beginners

2008-08-29T01:19:00.007Z

I went to a seance yesterday and the medium asked my mother a question.

'Would you let another woman breastfeed your baby?'

Apparently, mother answered in the affirmative, 'Yes, Deer.'

Oh, goooooody. Thanks Mummy.

Now, Cummon Kate, get yer tits out for The Merkin.

Ooooooooh Jaqui, I feel soooooo safe.

2008-08-20T23:05:00.017Z

Jaqui Smith is possibly the most incompetent in a long line of Nu-Lab Home Secretaries to disgrace that office.
Even she surpassed that bunch of cunts who claim to have protected us from another 3/1/1911.
On the Beeb she presented the latest anti-whatever breeze.
On Today Programme, she seemed to tell the whole world that Manchester airport was the easiest way to sneak into Britain
Why?
Could this be a double bluff in the hope that all the 'attempted Muslims' will queue up in the 'no bombs to declare' channel in the hope of by-passing the facial recognition software?
Who knows?. It seems that, after the Georgia debacle, strategy is not the neo-con strongpoint.
Anyway, Our Jaqui was asked by that veritable attack dog Eddie Mair if the system could tell the difference between identical twins. She obfuscated in an attempt to deny the truth - it doesn't work.
Knowing that the software sucks, our Britannia Ruler assured us that the passport/ID card would match with the photo.
Of course, The Merkin thinks otherwise.
The software may not be able to differentiate identical twins but the, mostly human, readers of this blog should be able to do so.
Just to make things interesting I have included an aged rocker, a real paedophile supporter, a monster, a few murder suspects and Gary Glitter.

Now, I would feel much more secure if Our Jaqui could assure us that the software could differentiate The Triplets.

Cameron 'The Russkies should be banned from Selfridges'

Clegg 'The Russkies should be banned from Harrods'

Milliband 'The Russkies should be banned from John Lewis'.

And Brown? In the Kingdom of the Blind the One-Eyed PM is there till Cheney decides otherwise.

What's Uranium For The Giyus............

2008-08-06T00:25:00.009Z

Remember what Eisenhower said?

"To the making of these fateful decisions, the United States pledges before you--and therefore before the world--its determination to help solve the fearful atomic dilemma--to devote its entire heart and mind to find the way by which the miraculous inventiveness of man shall not be dedicated to his death, but consecrated to his life."

"Atoms for Peace" was the title of a speech delivered by U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower to the UN General Assembly in New York City on December 8, 1953.

The yankees later gave away a 'free' nuclear reactor to Iran

As we know :

'A civil nuclear co-operation program was established under the U.S. Atoms for Peace program. In 1967, the Tehran Nuclear Research Center (TNRC) was established, run by the Atomic Energy Organization of Iran (AEOI). The TNRC was equipped with a U.S.-supplied, 5-megawatt nuclear research reactor, which became operational in 1967 and was fueled by highly enriched uranium.[21] Iran signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) in 1968 and ratified it in 1970. With the establishment of Iran's atomic agency and the NPT in place, the Shah approved plans to construct, with U.S. help, up to 23 nuclear power stations by the year 2000.'

But, not so fast.
Firstly, the US had to overthrow the Democratically elected government in Iran.

They did.

'The 1953 Iranian coup d'état deposed the elected government of Prime Minister Mohammed Mosaddeq and his cabinet, it was effected by SIS and CIA spies working with anti-Communist civilians and army officers.'

So, why all this fuss about Iran building a nuclear reactor?

Simple.

The Iranians freed themselves.

.

I got a Doctor to take my picture

2008-07-04T19:17:00.010Z

'I want a Doctor to take your picture.....'

Done.

Those of you who know the interesting year I have had, will not be surprised to see that even the indestructible Boldscot had to visit The Doctor Doom, he of the SomethingOscopy type.
What I saw was not ghastly. On the contrary, I fell in love.
Looked a lot better than some of the orifices I have surveyed.

Then, I remembered the song.

One of the best songs of the 80s, from The Vapours.

Turning Japanese.

'I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all round my cell
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
And turning in and turning 'round

I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so ......'

Do I give a toss?

'Don't really think so, dada lad da da da......'

The 'International Community' does not include Me

2008-06-09T18:25:00.004Z

The International Community is posturing over a number of events relating to Iran, Zimbabwe, Burma or some other unfortunate people on a daily basis.
The Grand Old Dame of Fife in his efforts to look macho feels the need to lie down legs in the air to satisfy Bush and Co.
Soon, we can expect to see the EU, speaking with one voice under Blair, calling for more Liberal Intervention without as much as by-your-leave to the people who supply the canon fodder for these mad adventures.

The following was originally posted on the, now defunct, site hosted by Mr Pike Bishop.
Looking over it I can see that 18 months on things don't change much.

'Dear Agony Aunt, how can I become part of the International Community?

Spent a long time abroad. I was part of the International Community.
Lots of Cockney barrow boys, lots of Yanks, lots of Froggies, lots of other foreigners.
One time we counted 13 different nationalities in the local pub - all speaking English.
Came back here. Found that I was no longer part of the International Community.

Why?.
"Once again North Korea has defied the will of the international community, and the international community will respond,"

Aha. Now I know.

'"But the international community is running out of time because soon its own credibility in terms of enforcing its own resolutions will be (...) a matter of question," said Rice, who is pressing for sanctions.'

(The Straw Man picked a babe; looks wonderful in a sheer veil and cilice, I bet.)

Then I saw that Hazel Blears was the one in command for that day. 'Android of the Year' award to follow.
' One of those factors is supporting the rest of the international community to tackle terrorism.'

Please help me, I didn't say any of these things but my Government has said them for me.
What can I do?
Is there any hope for me, I appear to be dis-enfranchinternationalcommunitised.
There is no hope. Or, is there?.
Well, yes and no.
There is no hope when we leave it to our 'elected' leaders. They are going to do what they want regardless of our wishes.
On the other hand, our Little International Community functioned quite well without the interference of Politicians.
It included some Koreans (they loved whisky) as well as an Iranian (he loved the local chicks and I really enjoyed going 'round for round' with him as he didn't drink alcohol).
I lived with an American Quaker lassie and my best buddy was a Yankee who made MisterD seem positively wishy-washy pinko.
We even had an unfortunate guy, with 'bad stomach' problems, who was known as 'The Japanese Sniper'.
(You can't see him but he is deadly at 500 paces).
Yet another motley crew. Fine.
Point is that that we managed to come to equilibrium without resorting to threats or sanctions or actual attacks.
Is it too much to ask our government to speak with us before acting on our behalf?.
Or, is International agreement only possible for us people who don't know any better?.'

PorkBelly Futures in One Easy Lesson.

2008-06-07T14:00:00.004Z

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

Pig Ignorant Foreign Secretaries R Us.

2008-06-05T22:12:00.016Z

I don't know which was more shocking.

Last night on Question Time, we saw David 'the Man who would be King' Miliband telling us that, in his first briefing on Zimbabwe as Foreign Secretary, he 'was horrified to find out' that Mr. Mugabe was actually Sir Robert Mugabe (12.45 mins into the programme).

One panelist asked, incredulously, 'You became Foreign Secretary without knowing that?'

Last night, we also saw that Lord Hurd didn't even remember (hic!) that Sir Robert had been recommended for his Knighthood when HE was Foreign Secretary adding, something a bit like, 'Well, we knew he had killed 20,00 in MatabeleLand, but he had hosted a Commonwealth Conference, after all' (13.30 mins into the programme).

If that is the calibre of Foreign Secretary we have enjoyed over the past 20 years, no wonder we have had such a fucked-up Foreign Policy leading to the deaths of untold millions.

It was easy for us in Britain to laugh at John 'fries for brains' McCain and say that he had a 'senior moment' when he didn't know the difference between Sunni and Shia in Iraq ( I doubt whether he even realised that the Shia and the Sunni exist in other countries).

In fact, with these kind of people allowed to be in charge, the laugh is on us.

PS for those of you who want to hear Miliband, last year, saying that - one year on - we would be clamouring for the return of Tony Blair
here it is.

Round about one minute thirty seconds.

What a loser.

Ray Mears - friend of terrorists, or not?

2008-05-28T14:28:00.012Z

Was watching 'Ray Mears Goes Walkabout', today.
I enjoy his programmes - he is the real deal rather than Bear Grylls.

As you know, The Merkin doesn't do bombs. Simple.
Last year, I told you of my attempts as a youngster to manufacture a viable device. Succeeded, sort of.
Since then I have mainly kept my chilling and shocking secret from The World.

So, it was nice to see Ray Mears using the same materials I used in making my fuse.
Mr Mears also showed us how to make an incendiary device using Potassium Permanganate and another substance which I could not possibly name on pain of death (but which Mr Mears clearly identifies by name - Glycerin).

Reading an article on Stef's blog yesterday, I realised what a dangerous position I am in.

I click so many boxes in the Government profile of a potential suicidal Jihadist that even I am scared to speak to myself unless bollock naked in a wide open public space.

Take the test yourself.

1. Did you watch 9/11 footage repeatedly? It was on CNN 24/7
2. Do you use the Internet a lot? GeeksAre Us
3. Do you frequent a Muslim operated convenience store? Only for hallal meat.
4. Do you keep yourself to yourself? No girls in the village, honest, Minister.
5. Do you travel by bus at all? Buses, in a rural area?
6. Do you possess unreasonable quantities of aluminium foil? Yes, my family bought in bulk, honest.
7. Have you broken up with a girlfriend in the last five years? Is Dawkins an Atheist?
8. Do you fall outside of the existing domestic Muslim terrorist stereotype established by the mainstream media? Hehehe.
9. Do you speak with dark skinned people? I live on an ex-Yankee base.
10. Do you have doubts about the official 7/7 and 9/11 narratives? I feel faint.

SOCA and Stealth are you listening?

What's more, I have potentially lethal essential oils in my possession dating back to a girl I split up with who was an aromatherapist.
Chilling and shocking.
The Telegraph told us of a new kind of bomb 'never seen in Britain' using an essential oil, not named.

My dearly departed mother swore by Potassium Permanganate as a treatment for athlete's foot - a few crystals in a footbath works wonders.
She was, amongst other things, a Chiropodist and knew her bunions.
What else she knew about this amazing chemical she took with her to the grave.

Today, I live in fear - even though I know the prospects of My Mother and Ray Mears conducting a sustained campaign of terror against the West are as low as the chances of The Clunking Fist being outed on the Paul O'Grady Show.

Still, when next you see a survival expert with a bush hat accompanied by a boldscot trying to maneuver a coffin into the toilets of your local coffee bar, denounce them at once - they are obviously the enemies of Fre'em and Moxy.

I don't care - it won't be me - despite the secret stash of Contact Lens Cleaner my sister handed me in a brown paper bag.

Oh shit, I forgot all the nail varnish remover, on special offer, lapping round my ankles as I write.

Maybe, next time.

Alkie-Ada or Hazel Blears? We know.

2008-05-22T22:57:00.007Z

We know that Mister Brown is Churchilian in his wish to have been born a Yankee.
He is now fluffing his words in the Bushite tradition.
Alkie-Ada. Could have cum from the President himself.
I think not.
Perhaps, he was having a wet dream about Hazel Blears?
What a thought.
The Blair Babe is closer to Alkie-Ada than most.

After 28 days in the pokey or 24 days in the womb will the British people know the answer?
Will we fuck.

Do help me.
Which one is Alkie-Ada?
Which one is Brown's Babe?

You may laugh at my suggestion that Brown can even have a Babe, bearing in mind his, alleged, proclivities.
Do we care?
We don't care about anything except hypocrisy.
If the PM is a chimney sweep, all power to his elbow (so to speak).

Answers on a postcard to 'MyFriendShaggedThePm.com'

Notice that The Merkin is always impartial.
The second photo is metrosexual in nature.
We can't tell whether Hazel Blears is the Blair Babe or the Godzilla.
You choose.

Answers on a postcard to 'SheIsEquallyCorrupt.com'.

Update 6th November

Our Hazel recently revealed her cameo role in in 'A Taste of Honey' - something I did not know when I wrote this post.

I am obviously gifted.

The Chilling Tale of The TartanMerkinel

2008-05-11T14:16:00.009Z

I was in Poland, it was my birthday and I celebrated with few friends including my blood-brother (who is a Mongolian Tiger tamer!). It was lovely weather and we continued, long after the pubs closed, with a 'kerry-oot' in the Salt Square and, later, on the banks of the River Odra.
One photograph shows my friend relieving himself in the Odra Fossa.
At one point, the Police asked for our papers but were flummoxed because I was a foreigner. In retrospect, I was really lucky.
You see, later that day the rains started and it rained and rained and rained.
I went back to Scotland and was 'lucky' enough to miss the resulting flooding which killed a number of people in Poland.
The 1997 Wielka Woda, or 'big water', is still talked about.

It was not safe for me to return to Poland for a few weeks - the City was underwater for some time. Even when I did go back, things were still very tough.
Both water treatment plants were still knocked out and I was even forced to wash in a town centre restaurant as there was no water in my flat.

Still, at least I had my water treatment tablets.

Following the news in Scotland, there had been reports of cholera in Katowice and I had inquired about the possibility of vaccination. My sister told me that WHO advice was that hydrating rather than vaccination was the current method of treatment.

Things, slowly, returned to normal and we got back to the business of partying.
My friend who had pissed in the river was the object of some fun with someone suggesting that he had started The Flood (politically, he would be an Enviro-punk) in order to destabilise Society.

Lots of fun for all the family. Or maybe not.

You see, apart from my friendship with this dodgy character, I was also in possession of three items which may be construed as essential terrorist tools.

I was holding my documents in a money belt (a covert body pouch).
I was carrying a Swiss Army Knife (hidden in my pocket).
I had the de rigeur packet of Water Treatment Tablets (secreted in my ticket pocket).

And, if the Police had decided to check out my flat they would also have found a very large Bowie knife covered in dried blood (most of which came from the aforementioned Mongolian Tiger Tamer, but, some of which was mine) together with still yet more Water Treatment Tablets.

Many is the time I have woken up in a cold sweat thinking how lucky I am to still be free.

Think I am being paranoid?
Well, think again.

In what can only be described as the latest terrorist show trial, the Police offered the following evidence of terrorist intent through the power of purchase.

'Items included a Swiss Army knife, water purification tablets and secure body wallets, described by the observing police officer as a covert body pouch.'

These items were bought from Camping Shops, no less.
I wonder if in my plea in mitigation I could argue that the Government facilitated my wrongdoing, seeing as I had bought my equipment from the Youth Hostel Association and The Army and Navy Stores.

Poor bastards. They are going to get a long stretch based on the type of evidence which demands, to quote a friend, a leap of faith the breadth of Dante's Inferno.

From Stef's Blog :

'Dead suicide fanatics who don't appear to have been fanatics, or suicidal

Dead Al Qaeda supporting suicide fanatics who appear to have believed that Al Qaeda is sponsored by the CIA

Endless talk of well-funded sophisticated international terror networks who seem to only employ incompetent losers in bedsits and MI5/MI6 connected gasbags

Endless talk of well-funded sophisticated international terror networks being close to securing atom bombs and killer robots but which are making do with Lucozade and Chapatti flour in the meantime'

It would be fucking hilarious if it wasn't so serious - and all done with the complicity of the MSM in this country.

'The Madeleine Industry' - says it all

2008-05-05T17:20:00.011Z

All proceeds from the Online Store go to the Madeleine fund.
All proceeds?
Bearing in mind that The Dodgy Duo have been paying the mortgage using money donated to the fund, we know what that means.

'Madeleine’s Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited is a company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales, CRN 6248215. Registered office: Madeleine's Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited Registered office: 2-6 Cannon Street, London EC4M 6YH.'

Is this the first time in history that The Suspects in a murder investigation have been able to Copyright The Victim?

Answers on a postcard to : Clarence Mitchell 'purveyor of fine spin and bullshit'.

The soothsayer that I am can just see the next stage in the campaign.
Anyone who disagrees with the official story is going to see themselves 'conflated' with Holocaust Deniers and Tinfoil-hats and David Icke's Lizards and 7/7 Troofers and Left-wingers/BNPers and a Holy Host of Others.

Of course, that has already been done, in a small way, on blogs such as Comment is Free, but it will take a new turn for the worse when Clarence himself opines it.

PS 'Drunk holiday couple face child neglect charges'

And, in the 'stranger and stranger' category :

'Last night, it was revealed the McCanns' financial backer, tycoon Brian Kennedy, had met Robert Murat, the first suspect in the case..........it is understood the meeting in November was also attended by Mr Kennedy's lawyer, Edward Smethurst, who is co-ordinating the McCanns' legal affairs.'

Wonder if they were also discussing 'the royalties' accrued??

I am a lying hypocrite, says Prescott, who ate all the pies.

2008-04-20T22:59:00.009Z

Our John stated his reasons for not getting treatment for his condition and his unwillingness to let the Doc know :

'I am a public official, how do you know it is going to stay secret?'

From the same government that wants us to tell all - including our sexual preferences - to The Database.
Hypocrisy distilled.

PS I would have shagged Caroline Flint twenty odd years ago (and maybe even less than that, God willing).
Hope that is on the database when she feels especially horny.

Hey there, look at you, Georgie Girl !!

2008-03-28T14:17:00.008Z

Thanks to all who sent kind thoughts over the past wee bit.

You can see ma maw in sex-kitten mode together with a not-yet-fully-erupted Boldscot.
Before that, you can see her admiring the flowers sent by LavvyBloo while in hospital.

Nearly fifty years between the photos doesn't diminish the sparkle in the eye and that strength of character for which she was well known.
Can't invite you all to The Funreal on Monday but I know some of you will be there, virtually, in support of a great woman who believed, even till the end, we are all 'One of Jock Tamson's bairns'.

As Rabbie said and Paolo sings :

Is there for honest poverty
That hangs his head, an' a' that
The coward slave, we pass him by
We dare be poor for a' that
For a' that, an' a' that
The rank is but the guinea's stamp
The man's the gowd for a' that
What though on hamely fare we dine
Wear hoddin grey, an' a' that
Gie fools their silks, and knaves their wine
A man's a man, for a' that
For a' that, an' a' that
Their tinsel show an' a' that
The honest man, though e'er sae poor
Is king o' men for a' that
Ye see yon birkie ca'd a lord
Wha struts an' stares an' a' that
Tho' hundreds worship at his word
He's but a coof for a' that
For a' that, an' a' that
The man o' independent mind
He looks an' laughs at a' that
A prince can mak' a belted knight
A marquise, duke, an' a' that
But an honest man's aboon his might
Gude faith, he maunna fa' that
For a' that an' a' that
Their dignities an' a' that
The pith o' sense an' pride o' worth
Are higher rank that a' that
Then let us pray that come it may
(as come it will for a' that)
That sense and worth, o'er a' the earth
Shall bear the gree an' a' that
For a' that an' a' that
It's coming yet for a' that
That man to man, the world o'er
Shall brithers be for a' that

Fagra or Viagra?

2008-03-06T00:15:00.005Z

A tale of sex and drugs with a bit of rockin' and rollin'

Shagged the bird.
Fancied a mutually shared fag.
However, as he was in the process of trying to give up the weed, he thought to take one of the anti-smoking tablets the Doctor had given him.

No sooner said than done and then that sensation in the groin told them it was time for further action.
Using a Polish idiom, his dick was like a rivet from the Forth Rail Bridge.

Another ride, another anti-smoke tablet.

Another ride, another anti-smoke tablet.

Ad infinitum and ad nauseum as they both found out.

Oxygen cylinders and adrenaline were the order of the day

And here is why.

That was my day, how was yours?

On for Shearer in place of Baxter, The Boldscot.

2008-02-24T02:29:00.009Z

My greatest day in football and no-one believed me.
What age was I - about sixteen?. No, exactly fifteen. Maybe sixteen.
I got invited along to watch a football match. Not invited, told
A match between the Russian sailors from a ship visiting Glasgow and a team of ex-professionals playing as 'The All Stars'
Fine.
Where?
At the police dog training school and social club at Bellahouston in Glasgow
How did I get involved?
Well, my dad sometimes had contact with the Russian ships because of his background and the fact he could speak really good Russian.
My sister's boyfriend had some sort of Church involvement with doing, like, missionary work to the sailor's mission.
OK, I'll go along. I should really be studying for some exams but this should be fun. Anything except studying.
Better still there should be some professional players involved. I might see someone and get an autograph.

I go with my father and we find the place. We speak to the referee (my sister's boyfriend) and hear the buzz.
Wow. Jim Baxter is going to play. And U can meet him I think.
I am going to die. Jim Baxter - the greatest ever Scottish player. Only 34 caps but a left leg to die for. Keepy-uppy against the Sassenachs. Played with Pele, Charlton, etc.
My fucking hero. My left leg has learnt all his tricks.
Who else is playing? Anyone I would know?
Well, I'm a bluenose from Glasgow so I don't know Lawrie Reilly (38 caps) or Johnny Divers or any of the other famous faces that I am told of. Except, Bobby Shearer (4 caps), of course.
But, no no no. Jim Baxter! I have died and gone to heaven.
The pitch is in front of the social club. Both teams are ready.
Where is Baxter?
He is still in the social club and is not playing the first half.
The game starts and goes on and on in a one way direction. Or rather it doesn't.
I can't describe any end to end play or amazing incidents or moments of great tension.
Years later, I saw the Brazilian Cup final in the Maracana stadium and could almost describe these things. Today, all I can see is a bunch of ex-professionals enjoying themselves.
And the football is great. And the players are great. And you can see why they are still legends with their fluency of play. But no fucking goals. They don't need to. They don't want to.
Why? Because if they score the ballboy has to retrieve the ball. All the spectators are in the Social club - so, I am the ball-boy as well as the touchline judge and the spectator.
And, they don't want to score goals they just want to play about.
The Russians want to score. They also want to play. They want to drink vodka after the game.
Probably, they have been drinking before, during and after. Maybe Baxter was Russian.
OK, half time and a problem. Bobby Shearer is fucked. I am not surprised, he is about the same size as a small marquee. Quick confab and Shearer comes to the ball boy touch-judge-spectator
He said, 'wee man do you want to go on?.Fully-in goals. Backy-in later'.
In later years, I would have said "is the Pope a Catholic?"
In my cocky student years I would have said, "do the Haarlem Globetrotters shit in the woods?"
I was too young though.
I could hardly even speak to such an August personage but I did say "No, I don't, I am an inside left, I'm no a goalie" - thereby betraying the lack of judgement which has plagued me through the years.
Shearer ignores this and says "Baxter's no cummin' on - YOU have to. Follow me". I don't argue. I can't.
Shearer was known as 'Captain Cutlass' during his playing days. Nuff said.
I go into the changing room.
Shearer gives me his shirt. It is fucking massive and so fucking heavy through sweat. He gives me his boots and I suddenly realise my father has lied. These boots are Stylo Matchmakers and feel like carpet slippers. My boots always had toe-caps like industrial boots. How might my life have changed if I hadn't spent years as the only player in my team with diver's boots.
Nevertheless, I leave the changing room wearing a rather large sweaty marquee which almost covers me apart from a pair of boots and looking like a pantomime Aladdin because they are sticking up.
I look like a minor pyramid with sticky up toes and, unsuitably clad, head for the goals.
My father announces through the Tannoy :
'Baxter can't play. Boldscot is on in place of Shearer'.
I love him at that point even though (being a teenager) I usually loathe him.
I later find out that the Elder Boldscot has had a drink with Baxter in the Clubhouse.
Nefarious dealings, no doubt.
No matter. I'm on
Orright, wee man in the goal.
Did I touch the ball?
Yes. Very often . No.
But, I was there.
The game finished in a (fairly comfortable) win for the All Stars. Of course.
I kept a clean sheet. Ahahahahah.
Sure, the teams finished and I gave my shirt back - no one to swap it with, fortunately.
Back home and ready for my exams
Next day in school we are having a break. The guys are discussing football of course.
One guy talks about last night in the Scottish Boys champs. Another talks about the league.
We are at a boy's Rugby School so football is at a premium
I say, 'that's nothing, yesterday I came on for Shearer in place of Baxter'.
Someone slaps me - my best friend Davie Thom.
Fuck off dickhead.... blah blah blah
Nothing like school, in Glasgow, to bring you down to earth.

Doesn't matter- I WAS THERE and I DID IT. I was one of the 'All Stars'.
On for Shearer instead of Baxter.
The one and only time for anyone.

Debauch the Currency? Did it years ago, Bruno.

2008-02-06T01:47:00.000Z

I debased the currency.
No arguments about that.
I did it with my father.
No Rothschilds in abeyance.
It a was simple.
We took a drill and bored a hole in a 'penny'.
We took a piece of elastic and passed it through the hole.
The other end of the elastic we pinned to the inside of my duffel coat.
Went to school.
Showed the penny to my classmates.
'I can make it disappear - for some pineapple chunks - anyone fancy a bet?'
Not many takers. Enough though.
Abracadabra etc, and released the penny which then shot into my armpit.
Got a good few pineapple chunks and a few Kola Cubes, too.
Even got a Bar Six from someone who fancied his chances.

In later years, I had a go at learning the real conjuring arts from my father.
He had been a pupil of Marshall Wilson who, in turn, had been a pupil of The Great Cagliostro.
Gave it up in favour of guitar, having seen that everything can be an illusion.
Especially, chicks on stage.

No matter.
I should have been a politician having learnt some of the tricks.
How to debase being the most important.

More to follow, I am sure.

PS the guy who bet the 'Bar Six' is now a famous politician in my country.

Cult or Occult?

2008-02-04T01:13:00.000Z

Saw an article about the dangers of Scientology and the fight against it.

THE WARNING SIGNS:

1. The spiritual group claims to have received special instructions from one or more "messengers from the sky."

2. The spiritual group uses a special set of rules that you must obey or be cast out.

3. The spiritual group promises eternal life in a paradise if you obey its set of rules, and threatens eternal suffering if you do not obey its set of rules.

4. The spiritual group demands that you give up as much of your assests and your yearly income to it as possible.

5. The members of the spiritual group call each other "brother" and "sister," even when they aren't related at all.

6. The spiritual group is led by a group of enlightened masters who wear strange clothes and speak in esoteric parables.

7. The spiritual group demands that you accept its teachings without reservation, even when those teachings are in direct conflict with your understanding of basic scientific knowledge.

8. The spiritual group demands that you select your spouse and your closest friends from its membership.

9. The spiritual group demands that you place your children in its training program.

10. The spiritual group teaches that giving up your life for the sake of the spiritual group may become necessary sometime in the future.

Not so much different from the neocon stuff that threatens us all.

Bezzled by a Fop

2008-02-02T15:23:00.000Z

As usual, prowling on The Graun.
Got the most wonderful photograph of where my Tax ends up.
Young Mister Conway is as stupid a cunt as Young Mister Hewitt.
And Mister Cameron hopes to be the PM some day.
Reminds me of a joke my father told me.
*****************
A poor family send the idiot son to Eton in the hope of rising somewhat in society.
The Son says, in a letter, can you send me some money I need to buy the same clothes as these members of high society.
Father sends money for a Tail Coat.
father sends money for a Top Hat.
Father sends money for a Topped Cane.
**
Son sends photo and says to father 'Don't I look like a right Count, now?'

Father breaks down in tears.
'A right Count? - All that money and he can't even spell'.

A Vulcan Stole My Posting

2008-01-22T21:38:00.002Z

I followed the Graun recommendations yesterday and took a look at John Redwood's internet diary.

Of course, I was excited beyond measure by the promise of 'incisive and topical campaigns and commentary on today's issues and tomorrow's problems'.
The article was entitled 'Time to get a grip on loans to Northern Rock'.

Good start.

I read the comments. Very good.
Then, I had a thought - why should we discuss within their ideology?
So, I asked a question.

'Northern Rock has been insolvent for some time.
Mr Applegarth sold his shares ‘just in time’.
Would a Conservative government look into this type of insider trading?'

I copied the post, including the legend :

Merkin Scot on 22 Jan 2008 at 1:18 am
Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Next morning I checked for answers as to why they should allow Applegarth to 'do a runner'.

I was vaporised.
I was non-existent.
I didn't register in the conversation.

Why should this be?

Members interests :
'Audley European Opportunities Master Fund Ltd and its feeder funds (non-executive); investment company.
Non-executive chairman of Pan Asset Capital Management Ltd; an investment advisory company.'
.
Now we know, everything.
He is as far up the corporate arse of fiat money as anyone.
Ooooooooh.
Surprised?
Don't think so.

Can anyone fill in the dotted lines?

* Update *

Email from John Redwood MP on 22/1/08 :

'I am not posting your comment, as there is no evidence of insider dealing, and the authorities assert that Rock is solvent. Your comments could result in legal aciton. Thanks for writing in.'

Nice to see that typos are not the preserve of the poor bloggers alone. Unless 'aciton' is a peculiarly Vulcan form of retribution, that is.

.

The WolfMcCann Strikes Again.

2008-01-21T20:14:00.000Z

Oooooops, I have a problem.
I pressed the wrong button and got my photos mixed up.
Who can help me?
There are photos of the saviour of Latin America, photos that Our Clarence says prove that the McCanns didn't kill their daughter by accident and a photo of a jig-saw puzzle. There are probably a few Labour politicians in the seventies gear there, too.
The Wolfie Centurion is there to muddy the water in approved and time honoured McCann fashion.
Please email everyone you know and ask for help for me.
.

The Super Soaraway Guardian Articles

2008-01-09T17:06:00.001Z

Most of the people viewing this article will have been on The Guardian 'Comment is Free' site at some time or other.
Many bloggers actually started their own bloggs after The Graun started to censor-out the interesting contributors - ones like Mr Pike Bishop and Szwagier.
Many of us migrated to Frank Fisher's, now defunct, site once he showed us that the ordinary Gutty Herbert could make a contribution to political debate.
That's how I started. I still visit The Graun from time to time and it is sad to see how the site has been taken over by 'the powers that be'.

The following is a case in point.
Early this morning, I found the following Guardian Story about equal pay and the influence of no-win no fee lawyers.
The article was advertised on the front page of Comment is Free.

The subject of workers rights is very close to my heart and I have written about matters related from time to time, here and there.
I looked forward to making a contribution to the thread, today.

Surprise, surprise, when I looked for the article at lunchtime today I could find no sign of it despite my being well used to finding articles which are no longer on the front page.
Now, that is a strange one.
The last comment was at 2 a.m. from DeadLetterDrop.
Why should this be so?
Well the article was about equal pay and the authors are heads of the two largest unions concerned.

The article stated :
'There are three serious allegations here: that the unions did nothing to push for equal pay in local government; that unions lie to their members; and that we pressurise them to accept bad deals.'

Those posting comments appear to have had a fair amount of knowledge of the matters referred to in the article and were set to trash the Union Leaders.
Could this be why it was pulled so quickly?

Comments sometimes are deleted, we are told, on legal grounds.
None of the comments I saw were deleted.
The article wasn't deleted, just well hidden.
Extremely well hidden.
I only found it because I knew the name of one of the authors.

So, is this how it works?

The Union leaders can say that the matter was public and gave a chance to reply, when in fact that is not the case in practise.
The last time I was particularly aware of this kind of thing was when John Reid was comprehensively trashed - you can now see it here.

He had written one of the most pompous and condescending articles, ever, about the problems at the Home Office : 'If you renovate a house you start by taking the wallpaper off. Only then do you discover more problems.'
This went down very well.

For example :

'Who we gonna call? 'Colin and Justin'.
Wonderful, Mr Reid you have made my day.
The vision of this tough guy mincing his way through the bowels of the Home Office with two of Scotland's finest will stay with me forever.
Are Colin and Justin 'fit for purpose'.
You bet.

'In nine days, the team transforms a Home Office, not shying away from full-on renovation in its effort to take the Home Office from blah to brilliant.

The budget ranges from $zillions to $godzillions; the Government pays for nothing 'to maintain control of a project'.

'We have fun with the Home Office Ministers, but we also listen to them and try to incorporate their dreams in to the design,' says Justin.

When asked about ugly details that will send them reeling, Colin says it starts with the outside of the house. 'If you walk up to the door and you see gnomes or clay-pot sculptures or (images of) Labradors on the floor mat, you know it's going to be awful.'

Bring 'em on.'

The Odious Mr Reid was sent away with his tail between his legs (hence the picture of Mr Blair's favourite attack dog at the top of this article which was stolen from Stef's site).

Not only was Mr Reid's article pulled, it disappeared from the Graun archives as well as from the 'list of articles' attributed to Reid.
It just didn't exist anymore.
Orwell must be spinning in his grave.

NOW THAT IS CONTROL OF THE PRESS ISN'T IT?

Postscript : The Reid article eventually made it back into his 'list of articles' after a few months. This occurred only after someone else had posted the thread to a mirror site.
If that had not been the case, I would have had no proof of my allegation of media manipulation by the powers that be.
Such a mirror site is hosted by DeadLetterDrop

More to follow, I am sure.

Nedivity Scenes in Brown's Britain

2007-12-30T12:17:00.000Z

The Merkin Connection, s'il vous plait, Doctor Wu

2007-12-18T19:37:00.000Z

Steely Dan said it in 'Doctor Wu' :

'Don't seem right
I've been strung out here all night
I've been waiting for the taste
You said you'd bring to me'

She's desperate for a fix and I am The Candyman, today.

What do you want, exactly?

I want the strong stuff
I need the strongest stuff

Why not try a little of this mild stuff to start with?

No! I need the strong stuff. Now!

Maybe a little 'helper' to get you on the way?
You don't want to be wasted so early in the afternoon.
We have got all day to get through.

But, I need it now.

So, I give her a syringe of Happiness to top up the slow release Morphine she had in the morning.
And Hey Presto! the pain goes away, as I knew it would.
As she knew it would.
As we knew it would.

Hey, it's good gear we have in this place.

I have to look after the stash for her.
Not a user of MiniSmack, myself, but I can't take the chance of leaving it with her.
So, I keep it hidden.

She ain't gonna deliberately OD, I don't think, but she might forget and double hit or triple hit.
A slug here or a slug there might be too much.

It's like being in jail or being the main man in the housing scheme.
I am the drugs Kingpin in this place, the Mister Big, the Gruba Ryba (in Polish).
I am also the the gopher who carries the dope from the stash to the user.
And I clear away the evidence afterwards.
Neat and tidy.
And the chances of getting hassle from the fuzz is minimal.
Like any Kingpin, I have a 'get out of jail free card'.

It's my mother's gear, Ociffer.

Of course, my mother prefers not to think about the fact that we have a branch of BootsTheChemist in the kitchen.
My mother doesn't do drugs, you see.

You do see, don't you?

Let's go back a few months to the agony my mother is enduring.

I speak to the one family member who makes Jean Brodie seem a positive Libertine and we disagree as to the way to go.

I say to Miss Brodie 'if you guys can't sort something out, I am going to the local dive to get a bit of hash for pain relief for her'.

You can't do that - she would never take drugs and, anyway, drugs are illegal and just plain wrong.

I try to explain the medicinal usage of hash and how it would help.

Not good enough for the stern Mistress who believes high chairs and mince and tatties are the cure all for sore backs - even cancerous ones as it turns out.

No point in arguing about it, is there?

And four months later, as I am feeding her up with enough Morphine to give Pete Docherty a reasonable night, I am reminded of Miss Brodie's words.

My mother doesn't do drugs. Simple.

Bilko in Bergen

2007-12-07T23:22:00.000Z

The first piece I ever presumed to write was for Mister Pike Bishop.
This piece, I wrote for the Yellow Duck Pond.
Sadly, neither site is current. (Two great sites from great people).
So, apologies to those who know the story - but I want those scribblings to be here, in my place.

Sergeant Bilko was my hero when I was young. He was just so like my father – not in looks, but in character. A sort of Good Soldier Szweik with a betting slip. Always won when he lost and lost when he won. Except for one day.
No, scratch that as well.
'For once everything goes right for Bilko, from hot showers in the morning, to picking all the winners in a horse race, but by the time he realizes it the day is over.'

The rest of the band was flying to Norway.
For lots of reasons (ie cash) we decided to take the boat from Newcastle to Bergen.
A good decision.
We met lots of people on the boat and had a riotous time.
Played with Ricky Wilde in the piano bar. Met a chick who owned a club and chatted with a World Champion martial artist.
Not so bad – music, sex, martial arts plus loads of beer. Fine. In whatever order.
Looks promising.
But, we are in Norway on business. An ever-to-be unknown rock band making an album.
Now to work. It's not good.
Turns out we have been shafted, in typical rock fashion, by the manager and there is not a lot of money about.
The band is about to split and we have to produce our best stuff in order to just survive here.
That is, the producer says if we play well in rehearsal he will pay the whole cost of the recording and 'take it back' through money he already owes our songwriter for previous 'Gold Discs'.
Cool, we might just get through this.
We work, we fight, we play, we work, we fight, we play.
Ok, no matter. There is one bright spot. I have the beer tickets. They were mine. I had a day off.
I wanted some space – and I got it. Starting early.
I went to the TheaterKafeen for a beer. Some time to relax and get the head together. These guys are doing my nut in. Should be ok – my lady friend is the owner - hence the beer tickets.
Some old guys are playing chess in here. The kickboxers are here, too. A couple of guys are playing guitar. Some nice chicks too.
Ok. I am a foreigner and people are obviously curious. They want to speak to me.
My thing is guitar, so I am definitely interested when I see some guys playing. Plus, I am getting into what they are doing. As the day goes on, I get more interested in what they are doing and they get more interested in me being interested.
I have already sparred with the kick-boxers. One of the guys has just won the Gold medal at the World Championships. We talk karate and do a little touch sparring. I get called over by the guitarists for a jam. I get called over by the chess players for a game.
We start to play chess. This guy was the local champion in nineteen-canteen and I must be dead focused. I am.
But, the guitar players know we are playing with a famous Norwegian producer and want to speak about him. The kick boxers know that I am a karate instructor – and they know I don't give two fucks.
Background.
We are in the pub after recording. This pub is very nice but has a bit of a reputation. The usual.
Mafia, drugs, violence etc. My kinda place.
I now have a reputation. They think I am a nutter.
Why?
A few nights previously all the boys had been there. Hughie and me went for a piss.
As we are in the toilet a few of the local skins are in the queue and they start to talk about us.
Now these guys are very polite – or they would have already hit us. They call us the ficky-ficky guys ( all Brits say fucking this, fucking that) and make jokes about it.
Now they tell us they are going to fight with us. Hughie does a runner and I am left to sort it out.
I say to them ok I will fight with you. But, first can I have a cigarette? Ok they say.
Now I reach into the urinal and pick up a cigarette doup.
I put it to my lips. Can U give me a light?
They all leave. Quickly. One of them points at his head as he leaves and tells me I am a nutter.
I know that already, big man.
So my reputation is good. Or not. I don't speak Norwegian. I can guess, though.
So paradise. I feel like I am the hero in that episode of sergeant Bilko. You know the story.
Bilko has his lucky day – he can predict every winner. I like the concept - everyone has one day that is theirs. They can do no wrong. This is my day. Guitar, chess and karate and even some girls.
Homecoming means 'down to earth' big style.
Typical Glasgow. When I meet my friend Jamie. I tell him of my most wonderful day. I am so happy. Ecstatic, still.
Not in Glasgow, apparently.
He says “You were a lucky bastard, that's all - next time it will be a game of bridge, a piano and a squash racket. Fuck off.” Back to reality. That's Glasgow
What was the final result on My Perfect Day?.
Bilko, eat yer heart out.
I got 3 and a half to 1 half against the Bergen Champion
I got a reasonable 'draw' against the World Champion.
I played a couple of songs for a girl – and got paid in kisses.
ParaFuckingDeezo.

PS The band in the picture is Outsider, from Poland, and we are playing at Orle on the Czech border.

Knowledge? Too Dangerous for us Proles

2007-12-05T16:28:00.000Z

"Iran was dangerous, Iran is dangerous and Iran will be dangerous if they have the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon," Bush told a White House news conference.

Yep, knowledge is dangerous, Mr President.
Anyone with access to The Net has the knowledge necessary to make a nookular weapon.
So, what are you gonna do about it?

Anyone else think that Dubbya made something of a Freudian slip in saying that knowledge can be dangerous to American/Big Oil interests, or am I just being hyper sensitive?
We do know that the authorities in the UK and US are tearing their collective hair out in an effort to find some way of controlling The Net.
Without The Net we would only know a fraction of the truth about that shower of evil cunts who rule us and they hate the empowerment we have been given.

So, make use of it while you still can.

Ah well, at least I am happy.
Any opportunity to leer at my Robert Palmer fantasy women goes down well, so to speak.

In My Dreams.

Smoke and Mirrors and Fantasy and Fact.

2007-12-03T20:16:00.000Z

I was going to do a Trousers style review of a damn fine gig I went to at the weekend, trousers does them better than I can, but the serious part of me clicked in and gave me a thought to another place. A place which should concern us all - that The State can intrude everywhere, just everywhere - even in purely private, personal areas which harm no one.
To explain.
I went to a Burlesque night in Glasgow at Club Noir and enjoyed myself quite a bit.
There was no sex involved (unfortunately) but a fair amount of fantasy.
It set me thinking.

'A year or so later occurred the Brith Wood rape.....
We planned the rape the week before, up in the builder's stable......
We met there regularly to play cards and scratch and whistle and talk about girls...'

The boys talk about raping a young local girl - Lizzy Berkeley - and try to work out a plan so as to be able to get away with it.
They make a half hearted attempt to carry out the plan and, thankfully, don't go ahead with it.
Where did we read about this?
In some paedophile, fantasist website? (can't do a link for that, of course)
In the Beeb story?
In The Guardian story?
No.
We read about it in possibly one of Britain's best loved books - the very well known and very well written 'Cider With Rosie' by Laurie Lee.
He wrote it as he remembered it.
Fine.

The State steps in and imposes its own view of right and proper behaviour.
We saw the Colin Stagg saga where a honeytrap policewoman - also known as Lizzie - fed his fantasies and ended up with his being charged with a crime he didn't do.

My point?
The State can now decide what level of fantasy we are allowed to express.
If I mention to my friend about my current state of health using that well known Glasgow expression 'I could shag a barber's floor' am I in danger of falling foul of the Thought Police?
Now, that is bearing in mind that the three aforementioned accused in the court case had never even met - only their online activities had been monitored.
These guys don't appear to have been involved with user groups and The State appears to have 'fabricated' a case against them.
Are we all being watched?
Quite possibly.
No matter.

Anyway, did I have a fantasy about getting raped by the four lovely fag-hags?
No, I wouldn't even fancy it, no matter how wasted - the rape bit not the four lovelies, that is.
But, if I had fantasised, it is my business - nothing to do with The State.

PS one of the photos shows ME. Try and guess.

PPS Course, I was steamed - are you surprised.

Update : Wednesday.

Just as when someone tells you not to think of the word 'elephant' and you spend all day trying to get it out of your mind, I have had some interesting thoughts about my fag-hag friends and a variety of strange implements and a crate of Viagra.
Ooooops.
Guilty as charged, M'Lud.

The Leith Police Disseth Us Thyclists.

2007-11-09T22:32:00.000Z

Got an email from GrumpyAunt passing on a story about an irate citizen and his 'conversation' with the police.
I was going to put it on here before realising it was already well publicised.
However, there was something in it that was interesting and able to tie up with some of the themes seen here.
At one point, the protagonist complains 'Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Leith such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care and attention,...'
Well exactly.
The police are no longer interested in crime as we would know it but are driven by a political imperative.
That imperative is informed by the 'One New Law a Day' of the present Government.
Laws to control us rather than protect us.
Perfect example.

The following story was in the ToryGraph.

Do read it as it is very funny.

'"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.'

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."'

So, the guy was caught in a private moment shagging a bike.
Now, I have had sex with a few bikes in my time, but none with deraullier gears and mudflaps (well just once, perhaps).
He got taken to Court and has now landed up with an entry on the Sex Offenders Register (for doing something in his own 'space') after being charged with Breach of the Peace.
What nonsense. (What a shite Lawyer too, incidentally).
He is now banned from many forms of employment and carries the stigma of being on the Offenders Register just coz he had a wank in his own room.
Is that how the Law was meant to operate?
Obviously not - at least not as it was presented to us.
The point is that our sexual habits are now the province of the state more than ever before. As a means of control.
I have never had sex with a push bike (never found the right model, I suppose) but if I wanted to do so in the privacy of my own home I would.
And why not?

What this means is that the Goverment can use the legislation to criminalise us when it wants to. That is control.

Part of the same plan.
Go to school until you are eighteen.
If not, a fine.
Can't pay the fine, Pokey.
Control.

More to follow.

It appears that he was charged under "breach of the peace", and placed on the sex offenders register under the provision of Sec 80 of the Sex Offences Act 2003, which provides that a person may be placed on the register if the judge considers there to be a "significant" sexual dimension to the offence.

In other words anyone could be placed on that list at the Judge's discretion even if they had simply dropped a piece of litter in the 'wrong way'.
Atrocious.

A Very Birrittish Show Trial

2007-10-26T10:57:00.000Z

I received my Guardian Podcast by email.
It contained some interesting stuff.

'In the second of his video reports for Guardian Unlimited, Clancy Chassay finds Palestinian militants in Gaza using Google Earth to locate targets in Israel for rocket attacks.'

The video shows Resistance fighters in 'Palestine' setting off rockets bound for the occupation forces.
I immediately wiped it off my computer lest I be mistaken for someone giving aid and assistance to terrorists.
Now, I have frequently spoken out against terrorism whether State sponsored or not.
I don't do bombs. Simple as that.
However, I can certainly understand the views of Cherie Blair with regard to Kamikaze tactics.

Mohammed Siddique is a stupid arsehole, that is for certain, but he did not deserve 8 years for his immaturity.
If I had received a stretch every time I have been an arsehole I would still be sitting there with the rest of the population.

His Lawyer has been reported for Contempt of Court as a result of statements he made after the verdict was announced.
I am sure many people would agree with him that this was a politically motivated prosecution rather than anything related to making Britain a safer place.

The trial was started at the time of 'the bomb that never was' at Glasgow Airport and finished at the anniversary of 9/11.
How convenient. Brown has his British terrorist from North of the border.

One of the Crown witnesses was the host of an anti-Muslim website - a site containing images of exactly the stuff the accused is said to have accessed.

'A computer disc found hidden under a carpet during the raid contained horrific images, including Islamic extremists looting the body of a dead US serviceman.'

'These files contain terrorist propaganda, particularly emanating from al Qaida, glorifying terrorism - especially suicide bombing.'

Today I watched a programme on History Channel.
At one point, they showed a video of a resistance fighter in Afghanistan firing a rocket at a plane.

Who was he firing at, the Yanks or the Russkies? Dunno.

The absurdity of the Law is shown by the following :

Presumably, if the plane he was shooting at was American I could be lifted, if I pass it on, but not if he is shooting at a Russian plane.
One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

Such is the moral degeneracy of the so-called War on Terror.

I saw an Army Information Film which could easily have been described by The Trial Judge like this :

'.......designed to encourage people to commit such acts of terrorism and promote the recruitment of English-speaking, mainly British nationals, to the cause of Operation Big Oil.'

Extra :

I have just watched the BeeB news report of the latest Terror Trial in London.
The evidence included videos of the accused receiving 'military training'.
One particular 'forward roll movement' was claimed as being a favourite of the insurgents.
If you were to go to your local Karate club tonight, I can assure you that you would see the ordinary people of Britain being taught this very same movement.
I have taught this to classes frequently.

Spinning of the evidence in a criminal trial.
Disgusting.

The Odious Christina Odone

2007-10-21T14:33:00.000Z

Christina Odone is a truly odious character.
In her Observer article today, she once again uses the McCann saga to push her somewhat warped view of The World.

She goes a whole step further, though, in making two comparisons.
Firstly, with Joanne Lees (of the Falconio murder) and, secondly, with Mersault (from L'etranger by Camus).

In the case of Joanne Lees she says '...Lees found herself a murder suspect. It didn't matter that she had been raped, tied up...'

Well, it's a lie.
Simple.

(As was pointed out 'if she had been (raped) then the difficulties the prosecution had in proving the DNA evidence would have fallen away').

I am sure that Ms Odone was not thinking of the stress caused to the Lees Family who may just read The Observer of a Sunday.

She was only interested in fabricating something in support of her case.

At the very least she should offer an apology to Miss Lees.
She won't.
Ms. Odone has been caught telling porkies before and even had to chutzpah to spin the story into a Guardian article.

The second comparison she made this time was between Mersault and Kate McCann.
Maybe, she hasn't read the book.

Mersault actually was the murderer.

Still Digging For Dignity.

2007-10-10T20:43:00.000Z

This was originally written for the, now defunct, site hosted by Mr Pike Bishop.
Mister Anna posted something which inspired me to re-post it here.

Absolutely gorgeous she was, even by local standards, and she kept my money.
Not the first time a woman has kept my money, and probably not the last.
But why this time?
The Glasgow man beat her to a pulp to get his cash back, and then asked her why she should have kept the change.
The answer surprised me. It turned out, I had said 'thank you' as I handed her the note to pay for my beers.
'You foreign guys never say please or thank you. Polish guys the same'.
'You did thank me, so I thought it was a tip' she said, and went on 'It is unusual to get someone who actually sees me as a person'.
My first thought was that Poland is indeed a strange country. This wouldn't happen in Britain, or would it?.

there's a man i meet walks up our street
he's a worker for the council
has been twenty years
and he takes no lip off nobody
and litter off the gutter
puts it in a bag
and never seems to mutter
and he packs his lunch in a ";sunblest"; bag
the children call him ";bogie";
he never lets on
but i know 'cause he once told me
he let me know a secret about the money in his kitty
he's gonna buy a dinghy
gonna call her dignity

by Ricky Ross

Came back here after ten years away and found a similar attitude in a different area of work.
The attitude that says 'people that serve us are not people at all'.
Started with a little bit of work I did helping a few of the local Council workers. Guys working outdoors (including bin-men, gardeners and car-park wardens).
All they were looking for was 'a bit of dignity' in the sense of being treated as people - similar to those who work in the Council offices.
First came a victory, a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. The boys who work outdoors, in the sun, are to be given free Sun Block.
Fantastic. First time in the UK.
Excellento – these guys are now in the same league as the super-models (an equally motley crew, it must be said).
Next, was water. 'How about access to some clean (potable) drinking water?. Same as in the offices?.
Not so easy.
The suggestion from the Council was bizarre.
'Take 'bottles of ' FROZEN WATER ' with you in the morning when you leave home'.
Jeez-oh. Do you really mean ' FROZEN WATER'?.
'Yes, it will have melted by the afternoon'.
Question?. Can the boys with the hand-carts drink the chilled water at the Council offices - there are no hygiene certificates for storage of food-stuffs on the handcarts?.
The Official reply?. 'We will consider that in due course'.
Ok, what next?.
Training. They asked for permission to go on training courses that may be relevant to people who come in contact with the public. (Relevant, as the responsibilities of the householder or commercial landlord become more onerous).
In particular, they wanted one course on 'dealing with difficult people'. (More and more, these guys meet the collective anger of a public who have no other contact with officialdom)
The un-official, Official reply was 'You are a fuckin' bin-man, you don't need any training'.
The official, Official reply, when it arrives, will be interesting.
It gets better, though.
The Big Event of the year here is the Highland Games Festival.
In previous years, the workers doing compulsory overtime (16 hour shifts) were welcome to use the facilities of the Games Organiser to get their breaks in the Visitor's Tent.
Fine.
Not this year, however.
It was pointed out, the impracticability of going home, at lunchtime, to escape the rain and get some hot food.
The Official response?. Simply, 'Here's a voucher for a burger at one of the vans, outside'.
Where can we have our breaks - our own bothy has been taken over by the private Security Contractor?.
'The bin-men should use the Ladies Toilets for food breaks'.
So, that's what the guys had to do on a rainy West of Scotland weekend.
Queue at one of the burger vans and eat it in the Ladies Toilet. No subsistence payments, by the way.
(Needless to say, those, and such as those, were able to have full use of the Visitor's Tent - even those people who would usually rather have a heart attack than do a weekend shift).
The following week a story appeared in the local paper praising the 'clean-up' crews without whom the event couldn't have gone on. The 'Unsung Heroes' of the day. ( It must be noted that the Council considered their work to be sufficiently important to arrange a Police escort for the bin lorry as it travelled the main street. Obviously, the work was important, but not the people doing the work).
***************
'If a person’s job involves any contact with human emissions such as sweat, urine, faeces, or spittle, such as sweepers or washer men, then they too are considered to be Untouchables'

***************
Are Barmaids in Poland or Bin-Men in Scotland equally part of a caste system?
People who serve us without really being people.

Postscript :
After getting comment from the doyen of Reconstructed Bin-Men, our host, I had another think about the nature of 'Dignity'.
Thought of a story to show the fine difference between dignity and contempt.
One night I am in darkest Wroclaw, waiting for a tram, at the stop.
I am carrying a guitar and some other gear – I am going for a gig.
There is a tramp going through the litter bins trying for a touch of something.
He asks me if I can help him out and I say to him 'Do I look as though I am flush?'.
We start talking about music – I have a guitar – and it turns out that he has an encyclopaedic knowledge of the sort of Rock that was my heritage. Conversation-a-plenty.
He is ages with me but looks ten years older – which is saying a lot.
I give him a fag. He offers me a swig of his bottle.
I gratefully accept as I see my tram in the distance.
He starts crying and I ask him if I have done something to insult him (very Polish).
'No', he says, 'You took a shot of my bottle without even wiping the top. First time anyone has done that for a long, long time. I thank you for that.'

Be sure, his dignity spoke volumes through my guitar, that night

Scary Stuff

2007-10-07T13:21:00.000Z

Which of these two individuals is more scary?
Which of these is more dangerous for your health?

One of them is a former WBA Heavyweight Champion who used to be known as The Beast From The East.
The other truly hideous individual is Debra Cagan, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Coalition Affairs - one of Dubbya's senior advisers.
This senior advisor to Georgie 'pants on fire' Bush recently told a group of British MPs that 'I hate all Iranians'.

Given that this is the American Chief Whip charged with keeping the 'Coalition of Imperialists' together, we should be very scared about the inevitability of the attack on Iran.
At this very minute in boot camps up and down the country we can hear the chanting of the underprivileged who make up the bulk of the Terrorising forces.

'We will fight for Uncle Sam
We wanna kill an Eye-Rain-Knee-Anne'

So, just who wins the Scary Monster prize, in your opinion?

It was not me it was my food

2007-09-26T15:59:00.000Z

'Sorry.....a wee boy done it and ran away'

This is the Motto of The Clunking Fist and his party of sheeple.
Bruno was not really involved in Iraq - it was all the fault of Blair.
Bruno was not Chancellor for ten years and the Northern Wreck Fiasco was not anything to do with him.
I am not suggesting that Our Dave or Ming the Merciless would be any more willing to shoulder responsibility, but Bruno was 'shoehorned' into power much to the disgust of the millions who never wanted him anywhere near the reins of power.

That these sheeple have no shame is something that is expected.
That the people of the UK and US allow them to continue in power is a shame on all of us.

PS the links are worth following up.

One is from Stef's site and explains how the Northern Wreck was insolvent for a while before the 'credit crutch'.
Other one is from the Graun about Bruno lying through his teeth (the newly whitened and straightened)

What's In A Name?

2007-09-15T17:31:00.000Z

Thought I was about to end myself about 5 minutes ago.

The announcer on ITV4 told us about a forthcoming film.
A film about someone wrongly sentenced to life imprisonment for a murder he did not commit.
And he told us the title of the film was 'Pa-pillion'.

Just where do they get these clowns?

Well, they all look the same to me.

2007-09-09T23:08:00.000Z

Which one looks like Osama Bin Laden?

The one who is Michael Jackson, pre-noses job, can't be him, or can he?
According to the Yanks, he was the OBL who admitted having done the Twin Towers gig, despite him having never been indicted for the said gig.

Six years later, and we have a belter.
The decrepit old man hiding in Bora Bora , or wherever, has had a new lease of life due to the anniversary of something he was never even indicted for.

Voila.

Decide for yourselves.

Of course, this is not he first time we have seen this.
At least, he didn't have to grow a limb in order to join the 'Hall of Infamy'
More to follow on that.

Thank fuck for the net to expose the lies of these people.
And maybe one day we will find that they are all living happily in Dystopia together with Shergar, Lord Lucan, Young Maddy and Kenny Boy.

Be Careful What You Wish For, Really.

2007-09-04T21:17:00.000Z

Woman killed by birthday gift camel

An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present.

The woman died at her family sheep and cattle ranch near Mitchell, 350 miles west of the Queensland state capital Brisbane, state police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory said.

The 10-month-old male - weighing about 330 pounds - had knocked her to the ground then lay on top of her in what police suspect was mating behaviour, Gregory said.

"I'd say it's probably been playing or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," Gregory said.

The woman was given the hand-reared camel in March as a birthday present from her husband and daughter.

"She had a love of exotic pets," Gregory said.

Camel expert Chris Hill said he had no doubt the camel's behaviour was sexual.

Hill, who has offered camel rides to tourists for 20 years, said young camels are not aggressive but can be dangerous if treated as pets without discipline.

The fate of the camel is not known.

A post mortem examination will determine the precise cause of death.

The moral?

Be careful what you wish for.

'And so say all of us..'

Mission Creeps

2007-08-29T11:30:00.000Z

Those of us arguing against the National DNA database will often point to the 'mission creep' which occurs with new legislation.
It creeps deliberately, of course.
The Government can't tell us the truth of their intentions.
So, they ask us to support something which is easily agreed to and then use it for something which the people won't agree to.
I am sure that those of you who have been given a book of David Hamilton photographs for Christmas would never have realised that you could end up on the sex-offenders list as a result.
Yet, under legislation 'designed' to protect minors, that is exactly what could happen - if someone doesn't like you.

(So, imagine what is in store for those who are actively blogging for a better world.
We saw in ForrestGate exactly how it works).

No matter, that's not the point for today.
There are longstanding plans to bury nuclear waste in Scotland.
We have known for years, but now these plans are active.

'A NEW radioactive waste dump to store deadly polonium-210 - the isotope used to murder former Russian security agent Alexander Litvinenko - is being planned in Scotland.

The offshore oil industry wants to bury hundreds of tonnes of toxic drilling waste on the mainland. But critics claim the plan poses a serious health hazard to members of the public.'

Big Oil will do it unless the SNP are able to oppose it.

Notice I said the SNP rather than the Scottish Executive.

Why?

Well, we recently saw how the Scottish Executive was reduced to stifling debate by the use of AntiTerror Laws :

Executive guilty of using terrorism as an excuse to refuse FoI request

And the story?

'The Scottish information commissioner, Kevin Dunion, has found the Executive guilty of breaching freedom of information legislation by failing to provide documents from a file entitled "Release of radionuclides in drinking water systems".'

Of course, they will appeal.

So, I want to find out about the dangers of shite going into my drinking water and am stymied because to do so would pose a threat to National Security.

'The Executive argued that releasing the documents would breach section 79 of the Anti-terrorism, Crime and Security Act 2001 because it "might prejudice the security of any nuclear site or of any nuclear material". But it failed to produce any evidence to back up its case.'

Gimme that again?

Unfortunately, even if you think that you are immune to these things - things such as contamination of water etc - you are not.

Which brings us back to 'mission creep' and the DNA database.
One member of my family actually said that the DNA database was a good idea because it allows old murder cases to be solved.
Laudible, I am sure, but very naive.

Mission Creep means that one possible use of the DNA database is for control of the population.
That particular family member said 'it doesn't affect me'.

Last time I was in her house she had a book of David Hamilton photos on the coffee table.

Not Married, but, with many children

2007-08-21T23:29:00.000Z

Drunk as a skunk?
Fucking right I was.
Not often you make a proposal of marriage to a six foot five mountaineer when you are sober.
Normal on the bus to Poland, you might say.
I might say it too.
I like travelling by bus to Poland. You get to Dover and on to the ferry and get a coupla drinks.
With the aid of a small carry out, you can then sleep the 20 hours to get you through France, Belgium and Germany etc and arrive 'suitably refreshed' at your port of call.
Except, I over-did it in a major way, the happiness of my return to the land of the now-Ducks making me a bit too happy.
Got drinking with a Polish Dentist and an ex-patriot mountaineer, big style.
We were truly antisocial, drinking and smoking in the back of the bus and chatting up the stewardess. What seemed like a good idea at the time only ended when we collectively fell asleep in a pile on the floor.
I slept the sleep of the righteous and woke up in the middle of a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend, I think.
Dunno exactly.
Pretty Foxy whoever she was, I am sure.

My ex girlfriend who had wanted to get me 'done proper' by a crowd of bikers.

My ex girlfriend who had begged me for another child.

My ex girlfriend who had tried to destroy me.

Thatz the one to have a wet dream over.

The fact that I was sleeping on the shoulder of my six foot five mountaineer may have accounted for the conflation moment which overtook me.
The fact that he had long black hair and massive pectorals also contributed a bit of flavour.

'Will you marry me?'

I was reminded of the scene from 'Some Like it Hot' where Tony Curtis nearly marries Osgood Fielding

JERRY
But you don't understand!
(he rips off his wig;
in a male voice)
I'm a MAN!

OSGOOD
(oblivious)
Well - nobody's perfect.

Through the drunken haze I started to realise that I was not making one of my better lifetime choices.

'I like you a lot but I am not that way inclined. If I was, you would be my first choice. Honestly.', he said. His terror in the confines of a Eurobus was manifest.

Fully awake now, I tried to think how to explain my momentary loss of situation.
All that happened was that I made things worse.
Every time I thought that my foot was out of my mouth I only succeeded in replacing it with another foot.
Perhaps, like Kafka, I had woken up as a centipede.
One hundred excuses later, I got off in the South of Poland.

He stayed on, never to be seen again.

(And he never even sent me a postcard)

The Oil and Nuttin' but The Oil Crusade

2007-08-19T13:51:00.001Z

I thought we were into Iraq coz of the Weapons of Mass Destruction which could be deployed at 45 minutes notice?

Well, few people believed it at the time and very, very few people believe it now.

Still, I like the graphic and think we could substitute Ear-Ran and MadDinnerJacket for Eye-Rak and Rummy'sDeadFriend without any difference in meaning.

Not long to go now.