Where do i start?
The four Russian midgets might be a good idea but I would rather leave that for the full horror to be laid bare in the burrow.
Better would be a note on foreign languages to introduce the topic.
Frail as he may be, there is no doubting the resonance of voice which could well wake the dead tourists in a quiet hotel.
So, when he opined that "Glass is not the only thing that gets blown in Venice" you can be sure that it caused some interest amongst the locals.
Mothers stuffed napkins into the mouths of curious children and stuffed fingers into the ears of inquisitive grandparents.
Despite the plethora of languages, it appeared that from Skegness to Darfur the vocabulary of every language included "blown" and "Venice".
Of course, we should not have been surprised.
A diet of pastry and perversion had been foremost on the menu - much to the amusement of the locals.
The early culmination had occurred during a fit of extreme tiredness in which we had been posed a question of some rhetoric.
"What will you both do if I die suddenly, while I am here"?
LavvyBloo suggested that he should be stuffed and mounted.
That Ducal relative of the Empress of Ireland suggested to the breakfasting sunlovers that he would prefer it the other way around.
In a voice which may have forever convinced Pavarotti to choose another career he bellowed to the assemblage "I want to be mounted first and then stuffed".
And so say all of them, I am sure.