Wednesday, 4 July 2007

Bombmaking for Merkins : Part 1

I don't do bombs. Simple.
Either for the 'Goodies' or the 'Baddies'.

Still, I take a Cherie Blair view of those who do resist by Kamikaze methods.

Did try to make a bomb once, though.
Must have been about nine years of age.
My father showed me how, and his accomplice supplied the bomb-making material.
Into the heart of The Gorbals we went, to Mr Fraser's Chemist Shop, on our nefarious mission.
We bought a Yellow substance a White substance and a Black substance.
In my room we mixed those substances together in proportions which I couldn't possibly divulge and tested the resultant mixture in the back garden.
Bingo. It burned very well. Nice.
But, it didn't cause an explosion.
It couldn't have. At least not spread on the ground in my back green.
You can't overturn the Laws of Physics.

Yet, the Government would have us believe that it is relatively simple to manufacture a liquid explosive and put a bomb together in an aeroplane toilet.
Contact lens solution and nail varnish remover.
But, Lt. Col. Wylde, who was awarded the Queen's Gallantry Medal for his command of the Belfast Explosive Ordnance Disposal Unit in 1974, described this scenario as a "fiction."

Crock of shit - here's why it can't be done.

In Glasgow, this weekend, the Government would, equally, have us believe that a car filled with gas canisters, nails and petrol constituted a 9/11 attack on an airport.
Problem is you can't overturn the Laws of Physics.
Sure, in Hollywood movies cars blow up if you even look at them the wrong way.
Not in real life.
Surely, gas canisters covered in petrol blow up if you light them?.
Not in real life.
Even cars with dual fuel LPG/Petrol engines carrying bags of nails have never been responsible for Apocalypse and Carnage on our roads when they crash.
Yet, the Government would have us believe it can be done.

Crock of shit - here's why it can't be done.

My own career as a subversive 9 year old culminated in an attempt to fabricate a landmine from a fireworks 'banger' and a plastic cup, remotely controlled along a 20 foot wire - using a Brillo pad and a battery for a detonator.
As any schoolboy knows, when you touch a piece of steel wool to the terminals of a PP3 battery it glows red. Touch it to your tongue and you get 'tickled'.
Fine.
Doesn't work, though, along a 20 foot wire - the resistance is too high.
Even a nine year old Merkin can't overturn the Laws of Physics.

Maybe Governments can do it in the name of patriotism?.

Certainly seems to have happened on 9/11 when, for the first time ever, a steel framed building collapsed into its own footprint as a result of fire.
Messrs Bush and Blair told us that this is how it happened so it 'must be true'.

But we know that it can't happen in real life, don't we?

8 comments:

lavenderblue said...

Merkin
So much to think about..I believe zilch from ANY government......
I am NOT a Believer
and they are the Monke(e)ys.

Jose said...

The numbers of people thinking of a hoax are growing.

trousers said...

These days non-cynicism does seem to directly equate with naivete. Which is a terrible place to have to be, but I would rather err on the side of cynical at times like this.

Sophia said...

Hi Merkin,

Good post. If you don't know Stef from 'Famous for 15 megapixels' go and click on the link in my right side bar (the blog's look has changed). He is another skeptic.

Merkin said...

Nice to see ya Zosia, but I can't find the link on your blog.
What am I doing wrong?.

Sophia said...

Here it is:
http://stefzucconi.blogspot.com/

Ex-Birthday Boy said...

Thank you, Sophia, and a hearty recommendation from me for anyone who wants to make the world a better place.

zola a social thing said...

Merkins-Perkins is, as you know, on the board of "Press TV".
Six of the best ASBOs to our blogger from the wrong side of Scotland.