Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Ray Mears - friend of terrorists, or not?

Was watching 'Ray Mears Goes Walkabout', today.
I enjoy his programmes - he is the real deal rather than Bear Grylls.

As you know, The Merkin doesn't do bombs. Simple.
Last year, I told you of my attempts as a youngster to manufacture a viable device. Succeeded, sort of.
Since then I have mainly kept my chilling and shocking secret from The World.

So, it was nice to see Ray Mears using the same materials I used in making my fuse.
Mr Mears also showed us how to make an incendiary device using Potassium Permanganate and another substance which I could not possibly name on pain of death (but which Mr Mears clearly identifies by name - Glycerin).

Reading an article on Stef's blog yesterday, I realised what a dangerous position I am in.

I click so many boxes in the Government profile of a potential suicidal Jihadist that even I am scared to speak to myself unless bollock naked in a wide open public space.

Take the test yourself.

1. Did you watch 9/11 footage repeatedly? It was on CNN 24/7
2. Do you use the Internet a lot? GeeksAre Us
3. Do you frequent a Muslim operated convenience store? Only for hallal meat.
4. Do you keep yourself to yourself? No girls in the village, honest, Minister.
5. Do you travel by bus at all? Buses, in a rural area?
6. Do you possess unreasonable quantities of aluminium foil? Yes, my family bought in bulk, honest.
7. Have you broken up with a girlfriend in the last five years? Is Dawkins an Atheist?
8. Do you fall outside of the existing domestic Muslim terrorist stereotype established by the mainstream media? Hehehe.
9. Do you speak with dark skinned people? I live on an ex-Yankee base.
10. Do you have doubts about the official 7/7 and 9/11 narratives? I feel faint.

SOCA and Stealth are you listening?

What's more, I have potentially lethal essential oils in my possession dating back to a girl I split up with who was an aromatherapist.
Chilling and shocking.
The Telegraph told us of a new kind of bomb 'never seen in Britain' using an essential oil, not named.

My dearly departed mother swore by Potassium Permanganate as a treatment for athlete's foot - a few crystals in a footbath works wonders.
She was, amongst other things, a Chiropodist and knew her bunions.
What else she knew about this amazing chemical she took with her to the grave.

Today, I live in fear - even though I know the prospects of My Mother and Ray Mears conducting a sustained campaign of terror against the West are as low as the chances of The Clunking Fist being outed on the Paul O'Grady Show.

Still, when next you see a survival expert with a bush hat accompanied by a boldscot trying to maneuver a coffin into the toilets of your local coffee bar, denounce them at once - they are obviously the enemies of Fre'em and Moxy.

I don't care - it won't be me - despite the secret stash of Contact Lens Cleaner my sister handed me in a brown paper bag.

Oh shit, I forgot all the nail varnish remover, on special offer, lapping round my ankles as I write.

Maybe, next time.


Fio Rili said...

In order to be a successful terrorist (other than being occasionally sober) you need to believe in something enough to want to risk or take your life for it.

You, who are so against so many things, what do you beleive in to that extent.

I'll first answer that myself - many terrorists don't beleive IN anything - it's what they are angry about, what they hate that makes them act.

I´ll argue against that too - But isn't that just the stereotype? The modern, calm terrorist really does believe in something and is not the mad, angry fanatic that he or she is made out to be.

In other words - for you to really fully fit the more realistic profile, there also needs to be something you believe in enough that you want to fight for it and for which you are willing to lose your life. What is this something, Mr. Merkin?

Merkin said...

Flummoxed me with that one.
I guess I am just not that type.
Still, that is besides the point.
The Government has framed a raft of legislation which automatically puts you into one or other category.

If a young schoolgirl in London, carrying a hockey stick, can be detained under the anti-terror laws for choosing the wrong train station to pass through, then we are in a bad situation.

Bollinger Byrd said...

yeah well I always thought there was something dodgy about you....

zola a social thing said...

I'm with Merkin Boy and against everything.
I also like hockey sticks when attached to the correct attire.
Do you hold that against me?

Merkin said...

Well said, Zola.
Couldn't watch the latest St Trinians, though, coz I can't stand Russel Brand.

The point I am making is that the Government seems to have decided that, rather like The Mad Hatter, a Law means what it wants it to mean depending on the circumstances. Usually, this shows as a prosecution using a law which was sold to us on some other basis.

Long term, the general idea seems to be that we are all able to be criminalised as and when it suits the government.
That is a frightening situation.

'Papers Please!' used as a means of control.

Bearing in mind that any 'interested party' can now request access to my telephone records and email, we are well along the road to a very Brave New World.

PS I watched a documentary about the search for a pyromaniac.
The lead investigator showed us how to make a fuse using a book of matches and a cigarette - something I had never seen before.

Chilling and Shocking.

Blairy-eyed community worker said...

No big bosses in the SAS.

Stef said...

Potassium Permanganate is wonderful stuff and I never travel anywhere without a large jar of it stuffed in my trousers

- it can be added to water to make a gently antiseptic solution

- it can be taken as an antidote to some poisons

- mixed with sugar or glycerin you can start fires with it

- best of all it makes an excellent snow marker and with just a handful of crystals you can craft enormous purple penises on snowy hillsides overlooking French skiing resorts if the local residents upset you in any way ... or so I'm told

Stef said...

...and to anyone who thinks that the definition of what constitutes a terrorist or terrorism is not being widened on the not so sly all I can say is keep watching and, unlike the frog in the kettle, try to remember how things used to be

PermerkinateOnParis said...

'Potassium Permanganate is wonderful stuff and I never travel anywhere without a large jar of it stuffed in my trousers......... with just a handful of crystals you can craft enormous purple penises.......'
First we have Ray Mears telling us how to set things on fire and now we have Stef telling us how to get 'hot chicks in your area'.
What is the blogosphere cumming to?