Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Ray Mears - friend of terrorists, or not?






Was watching 'Ray Mears Goes Walkabout', today.
I enjoy his programmes - he is the real deal rather than Bear Grylls.


As you know, The Merkin doesn't do bombs. Simple.
Last year, I told you of my attempts as a youngster to manufacture a viable device. Succeeded, sort of.
Since then I have mainly kept my chilling and shocking secret from The World.

So, it was nice to see Ray Mears using the same materials I used in making my fuse.
Mr Mears also showed us how to make an incendiary device using Potassium Permanganate and another substance which I could not possibly name on pain of death (but which Mr Mears clearly identifies by name - Glycerin).

Reading an article on Stef's blog yesterday, I realised what a dangerous position I am in.

I click so many boxes in the Government profile of a potential suicidal Jihadist that even I am scared to speak to myself unless bollock naked in a wide open public space.

Take the test yourself.

1. Did you watch 9/11 footage repeatedly? It was on CNN 24/7
2. Do you use the Internet a lot? GeeksAre Us
3. Do you frequent a Muslim operated convenience store? Only for hallal meat.
4. Do you keep yourself to yourself? No girls in the village, honest, Minister.
5. Do you travel by bus at all? Buses, in a rural area?
6. Do you possess unreasonable quantities of aluminium foil? Yes, my family bought in bulk, honest.
7. Have you broken up with a girlfriend in the last five years? Is Dawkins an Atheist?
8. Do you fall outside of the existing domestic Muslim terrorist stereotype established by the mainstream media? Hehehe.
9. Do you speak with dark skinned people? I live on an ex-Yankee base.
10. Do you have doubts about the official 7/7 and 9/11 narratives? I feel faint.

SOCA and Stealth are you listening?

What's more, I have potentially lethal essential oils in my possession dating back to a girl I split up with who was an aromatherapist.
Chilling and shocking.
The Telegraph told us of a new kind of bomb 'never seen in Britain' using an essential oil, not named.

My dearly departed mother swore by Potassium Permanganate as a treatment for athlete's foot - a few crystals in a footbath works wonders.
She was, amongst other things, a Chiropodist and knew her bunions.
What else she knew about this amazing chemical she took with her to the grave.

Today, I live in fear - even though I know the prospects of My Mother and Ray Mears conducting a sustained campaign of terror against the West are as low as the chances of The Clunking Fist being outed on the Paul O'Grady Show.

Still, when next you see a survival expert with a bush hat accompanied by a boldscot trying to maneuver a coffin into the toilets of your local coffee bar, denounce them at once - they are obviously the enemies of Fre'em and Moxy.

I don't care - it won't be me - despite the secret stash of Contact Lens Cleaner my sister handed me in a brown paper bag.

Oh shit, I forgot all the nail varnish remover, on special offer, lapping round my ankles as I write.

Maybe, next time.

Thursday, 22 May 2008

Alkie-Ada or Hazel Blears? We know.





We know that Mister Brown is Churchilian in his wish to have been born a Yankee.
He is now fluffing his words in the Bushite tradition.
Alkie-Ada. Could have cum from the President himself.
I think not.
Perhaps, he was having a wet dream about Hazel Blears?
What a thought.
The Blair Babe is closer to Alkie-Ada than most.

After 28 days in the pokey or 24 days in the womb will the British people know the answer?
Will we fuck.


Do help me.
Which one is Alkie-Ada?
Which one is Brown's Babe?

You may laugh at my suggestion that Brown can even have a Babe, bearing in mind his, alleged, proclivities.
Do we care?
We don't care about anything except hypocrisy.
If the PM is a chimney sweep, all power to his elbow (so to speak).

Answers on a postcard to 'MyFriendShaggedThePm.com'

Notice that The Merkin is always impartial.
The second photo is metrosexual in nature.
We can't tell whether Hazel Blears is the Blair Babe or the Godzilla.
You choose.

Answers on a postcard to 'SheIsEquallyCorrupt.com'.


Update 6th November

Our Hazel recently revealed her cameo role in in 'A Taste of Honey' - something I did not know when I wrote this post.

I am obviously gifted.

Sunday, 11 May 2008

The Chilling Tale of The TartanMerkinel

I was in Poland, it was my birthday and I celebrated with few friends including my blood-brother (who is a Mongolian Tiger tamer!). It was lovely weather and we continued, long after the pubs closed, with a 'kerry-oot' in the Salt Square and, later, on the banks of the River Odra.
One photograph shows my friend relieving himself in the Odra Fossa.
At one point, the Police asked for our papers but were flummoxed because I was a foreigner. In retrospect, I was really lucky.
You see, later that day the rains started and it rained and rained and rained.
I went back to Scotland and was 'lucky' enough to miss the resulting flooding which killed a number of people in Poland.
The 1997 Wielka Woda, or 'big water', is still talked about.

It was not safe for me to return to Poland for a few weeks - the City was underwater for some time. Even when I did go back, things were still very tough.
Both water treatment plants were still knocked out and I was even forced to wash in a town centre restaurant as there was no water in my flat.

Still, at least I had my water treatment tablets.

Following the news in Scotland, there had been reports of cholera in Katowice and I had inquired about the possibility of vaccination. My sister told me that WHO advice was that hydrating rather than vaccination was the current method of treatment.

Things, slowly, returned to normal and we got back to the business of partying.
My friend who had pissed in the river was the object of some fun with someone suggesting that he had started The Flood (politically, he would be an Enviro-punk) in order to destabilise Society.

Lots of fun for all the family. Or maybe not.

You see, apart from my friendship with this dodgy character, I was also in possession of three items which may be construed as essential terrorist tools.

I was holding my documents in a money belt (a covert body pouch).
I was carrying a Swiss Army Knife (hidden in my pocket).
I had the de rigeur packet of Water Treatment Tablets (secreted in my ticket pocket).

And, if the Police had decided to check out my flat they would also have found a very large Bowie knife covered in dried blood (most of which came from the aforementioned Mongolian Tiger Tamer, but, some of which was mine) together with still yet more Water Treatment Tablets.

Many is the time I have woken up in a cold sweat thinking how lucky I am to still be free.

Think I am being paranoid?
Well, think again.

In what can only be described as the latest terrorist show trial, the Police offered the following evidence of terrorist intent through the power of purchase.

'Items included a Swiss Army knife, water purification tablets and secure body wallets, described by the observing police officer as a covert body pouch.'

These items were bought from Camping Shops, no less.
I wonder if in my plea in mitigation I could argue that the Government facilitated my wrongdoing, seeing as I had bought my equipment from the Youth Hostel Association and The Army and Navy Stores.

Poor bastards. They are going to get a long stretch based on the type of evidence which demands, to quote a friend, a leap of faith the breadth of Dante's Inferno.

From Stef's Blog :

'Dead suicide fanatics who don't appear to have been fanatics, or suicidal

Dead Al Qaeda supporting suicide fanatics who appear to have believed that Al Qaeda is sponsored by the CIA

Endless talk of well-funded sophisticated international terror networks who seem to only employ incompetent losers in bedsits and MI5/MI6 connected gasbags

Endless talk of well-funded sophisticated international terror networks being close to securing atom bombs and killer robots but which are making do with Lucozade and Chapatti flour in the meantime'

It would be fucking hilarious if it wasn't so serious - and all done with the complicity of the MSM in this country.

Monday, 5 May 2008

'The Madeleine Industry' - says it all

All proceeds from the Online Store go to the Madeleine fund.
All proceeds?
Bearing in mind that The Dodgy Duo have been paying the mortgage using money donated to the fund, we know what that means.

'Madeleine’s Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited is a company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales, CRN 6248215. Registered office: Madeleine's Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited Registered office: 2-6 Cannon Street, London EC4M 6YH.'

Is this the first time in history that The Suspects in a murder investigation have been able to Copyright The Victim?

Answers on a postcard to : Clarence Mitchell 'purveyor of fine spin and bullshit'.

The soothsayer that I am can just see the next stage in the campaign.
Anyone who disagrees with the official story is going to see themselves 'conflated' with Holocaust Deniers and Tinfoil-hats and David Icke's Lizards and 7/7 Troofers and Left-wingers/BNPers and a Holy Host of Others.

Of course, that has already been done, in a small way, on blogs such as Comment is Free, but it will take a new turn for the worse when Clarence himself opines it.

PS 'Drunk holiday couple face child neglect charges'

And, in the 'stranger and stranger' category :

'Last night, it was revealed the McCanns' financial backer, tycoon Brian Kennedy, had met Robert Murat, the first suspect in the case..........it is understood the meeting in November was also attended by Mr Kennedy's lawyer, Edward Smethurst, who is co-ordinating the McCanns' legal affairs.'

Wonder if they were also discussing 'the royalties' accrued??